Ain't That Some Shit?

aww man

You loved it, you slut.

That gif shows me there is at least one reason to have a wii.

that's assuming you have somebody who's attractive to play it.

I love this episode.

I know dat feel

He's a faggot... srsly

Wait...why? Isn't he one of the top commenters?

I don't understand the happenings of funnyjunk anymore. Why people are faggots, why people get thumbed down. It all just happens so fast.

It's something you dont say 'no' to. Yes, technically it should be the other way around, but girls do this as 'flirting'

Older girls did it to me in 2-3 occasions back in my first month of high school, just to fuck with the freshmen.

that too, they also do it a lot when ur in the friendzone.

Haha nope, that's the only time in my life my ass was slapped by a girl. I think it was a guy also one time, but he blamed it on a girl... This was 4 years ago, so the details are kinda shady. It's not something I liked, cuz I knew they were just fucking with me.

i was captain of the swim team; every time i walked up to the starting blocks past my team sitting on the bleachers for a race I would get a slap on the ass. All day erryday.

White people..

that's us. You shouldve seen the football team..

My school was 90% brown (Indian, Bengali, Pakistan). I feel like I missed out on the whiteness.

my school was 30% korean and another 20% were the other 'asians'.


We didnt have a lot of white people either

Korean and asians are much better then brown people. And by better I mean sluttier. A good 15% of all girls had hijabs on.

my friend got a handjob from a flat-chested asian girl after talking to her for 4 days.

I did same thing except replace the words handjob, flat-chested, asian, and 4 days with blowjob, 36DD or DDD tits (she said it depends what company the bra is from), white girl, and 2 nights or texting.
I felt pretty boss after that. This happened 4 times too, wasnt just a 1 time thing

I have to ask... how did you get her to do it? Did you have to pull of some type of persona? What did you say... would be kinda awkward asking for a blow job.

well first off, you have to start with a chick who's practically in love with you (maybe that's an exaggeration, but she has to like you.) You're not hooking up with just any old chick unless she drunk as hell. You also have to have no shame, balls to at least pretend youre alpha, and be heartless enough to slightly take advantage of a girl. I probably sound like an asshole after you read my story. true, but they're right when they say nice guys finish last.

Basically I found out from my friend she liked me (she was in my english class but never dropped any sort of hint that she liked me, never even TALKED to me). So then next day i walked her from english to her next class and got her number. Texted her later that day. We started talking (at this point I was thinking id ask her out; there were no negatives I could see yet). We texted a lot that day (usual stuff wen u first talk to a girl, what kinda music do u like, what do u do for fun, that sorta stuff) and I started realizing this is not the chick for me. She told me how she was a virgin and was looking for the right guy and shit like that. But I didnt like her so I never asked her out. Next day I also walked her to class and asked for her views on sex and what she was waiting for. (this is the part where I noticed she's a little psycho). She thought I was gonna ask her out and said she wanted to lose her virginity on her 18th birthday and she told me straight up she wanted me to fuck her. (This was in february, her birthday was beginning of april). I told her straight up I dont want a relationship and if her way of enticing a guy into a relationship is through sex (which is basically what she was doing), she's doing it wrong. She said that's fine and understands.

pic related; i believe it shows of her assets quite nicely (this pic is 3 years old, it was the best one that showed off her rack. Theyre a bit bigger now). We never banged but I got to see them and sucked on em :)

So then day 2 of texting her I said that Ill gladly fuck the shit out of her for her birthday and also implied I want to be fuck buddies. She agreed to it (and then we basically had phone sex, talked about all the shit we'd do to each other which, now that i think back to how she was a virgin, was kinda funny). This included not just sex but lots of other things. Anyway; day 3 of walking her to class I asked if she'd like to get a headstart on her birthday. She said she's not ready for sex I said thats fine, just a blowjob. She agreed (to my complete suprise; i never thought that would work), she waited for my when I ended class, we went to her house, it took her like 20 minutes to build up the courage to pull my pants down, she sucked my dick, i pulled her titties out and sucked them, I went home.
We did this 3 more times, about once a week. I really wanted to fuck her but wanted to wait for her birthday. Then after we had been doing these blowjobs for a month I sensed she was growing attached and after I fucked her and made it clear once more I didnt want a relationship she would be devastated. So I left it at that and never fucked her. She's still a virgin.

I kinda regret it now (not fucking the living shit out of her, i mean). I was an asshole already; shouldve just finished the job and gotten some pussy.

but ya, that's how I did it. Im pretty sure this will never work again. Here's another pic for your enjoyment

i know i wouldn't want anything "slay"ing my ass

Stop acting like a robot, you knew what I meant.

in what way was that robot like?

Computer programs will not understand a sentence or instructions if you make the slightest mistake or typo.
Humans on the other hand can easily understand from context what I mean if one word was messsed up. You see, I put three s's in that word, but I KNOW you still understand what I mean. It's one of the things that make humans human.
I know your not a robot, your just a dick.

some autocorrect or spell check programs (or robots) can figure things out by context

Yup, but you can not say robots have the same understanding of language/text then humans, you can't say that for a very long time. But my point (hopefully) is still clear. You knew what I meant, and your a dick.

im not a dick, im fucking with you. if i was a dick i'd point out your error then call you a dipshit or a dumbass and laugh at you

I bet you clearly knew what I meant when I said you were robot like.

pretty much

good bye