Bring A Sword To A Gunfight. . Jack Churchill An allied commander in WWII, and an avid fan of surfing, Captain Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill aka "Fighti
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Bring A Sword To A Gunfight

Jack Churchill
An allied commander in WWII, and an avid fan of surfing, Captain
Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill aka "Fighting Jack Churchill"
aka "Mad Jack" was ha squally the craziest ************ in the whole
damn war.
He volunteered for commando duty, not actually knowing what it
entailed, but knowing that it sounded dangerous, and therefore fun.. He is
best known for saying that "any officer who goes into action without his ,
sword is improperly dressed" and, in following with this, for carrying a f
5 sword into battle. In WWII. And not one of those sissy ceremonial "
things the Marines have. No, Jack carried a ******* claymore. And he
3 used it, too. He is credited with capturing a total of 42 Germans and a
mortar squad in the middle of the night, using only his sword.
Churchill and his team were tasked with capturing a German
1- [i fortification creatively called "Point 622." Churchill took the lead,
t I charging ahead of the group into the dark through the barbed wire and
mines, pitching grenades as he went. Although his unit did their best
to catch up, all but six of them were lost to silly things like death. Of
those six, ha If were wounded and all any of them had left were pistols.
Then a mortar shell swung in and killed/ mortally wounded everyone
who wasn' t Jack Churchill.
5-, When the Germans found him, he was playing "Will Ye No Come
Ill Back Again?" on his bagpipes. Oh, we didn' t mention that? He carried A
I." them right next to his big ******* sword. at
3- After being sent to a concentration camp, he got bored and left. Just
walked out. They caught him again, and sent him to a new camp. So it
he left again. After walking 150 miles with only a rusty can of onions
l. for food, he was picked up by the Americans and sent back to Britain,
iii, where he demanded to be sent back into the field, only to find out
with great disappointment) the war had ended while he was on his a
way there. As he later said to his friends, "If it sift for those damn I
alrt,' Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!" t
...
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Submitted: 09/10/2012
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Comments(194):

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#2 - torexofthenight (09/10/2012) [+] (38 replies)
Probably gonna be hated for this, and yes he was indeed bad ass. Although the problem is he was a terrible leader and tactician. Also in my mind, a horrible soldier, he walked his men straight into a death trap. He may have survived, but those men intrusted to him did not, they were the true soldiers. Because chances are they knew there leader was insane, yet they continued to follow him through the death trap. They gave their lives, and he gets the glory. Even then he allowed himself to be captured, after all his men had given their lives, he surrendered....
Probably gonna be hated for this, and yes he was indeed bad ass. Although the problem is he was a terrible leader and tactician. Also in my mind, a horrible soldier, he walked his men straight into a death trap. He may have survived, but those men intrusted to him did not, they were the true soldiers. Because chances are they knew there leader was insane, yet they continued to follow him through the death trap. They gave their lives, and he gets the glory. Even then he allowed himself to be captured, after all his men had given their lives, he surrendered....
User avatar #91 - ruebezahl (09/11/2012) [+] (1 reply)
The end of this content is about 80% fictional.

He did not just "walk out" of a concentration camp. He escaped through a drain, Andy Dufresne style. And the second time, he did not "leave again", but he was set free by a German officer. He walked 150 kilometers (i.e. 93 miles), not 150 miles. And he was actually sent to Burma afterwards, but came too late, as Japan had capitulated then.

Seriously, why spoil a perfectly good story by inventing crap that never happened??
User avatar #42 - xelhuronx (09/11/2012) [+] (1 reply)
all i could think the entire time was "LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JJJJJEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! !!!!!!"
User avatar #89 - residentevilfan (09/11/2012) [-]
Must be hard try to kill all those Germans with balls the size of Saturn
#18 - buckinayy (09/11/2012) [-]
Am I the only one that would live in the movie theaters if they made a movie about this man?
Am I the only one that would live in the movie theaters if they made a movie about this man?
#121 - PleaseSpecify (09/11/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Sounds a lot like this guy
User avatar #87 - Theyneverknow (09/11/2012) [-]
Yea...Something tells me he was Scottish
...And a sociopath. We get the best sociopaths.
#130 - plue (09/11/2012) [-]
#93 - gevaudan (09/11/2012) [+] (8 replies)
A revolver in Borderlands was named after him.
#118 - themuffinmaan (09/11/2012) [-]
He also used a long bow.

Jack Churchill makes Chuck Norris look like a pre-pubescent little girl.
#157 - anonymous (09/11/2012) [+] (8 replies)
All of his squad is killed thanks to his mentally insane ********
"durr he's a hero he charged in there with just a sword"
#165 to #160 - fecalizator (09/11/2012) [-]
Sure, if you didn't get it the first time: Cunts like this should hang their heads in shame. His job was to lead a squad, instead he charged into the enemy with a sword, while the people who followed him got killed. I don't know how they even let him into the military.
tl;dr: not impressed by squad leaders who get their squad killed
#114 - beanmaniac (09/11/2012) [-]
i like that he didnt "run away" from the germans he just "left"   
because he got "bored"
i like that he didnt "run away" from the germans he just "left"
because he got "bored"
User avatar #88 - FligFlag (09/11/2012) [+] (3 replies)
+ 3 British pride points
User avatar #68 - aTastyCooky (09/11/2012) [+] (5 replies)
looked him up, he also carried a longbow...

#allmyinternetz
User avatar #79 to #68 - omoshiroi (09/11/2012) [-]
Yep, the only soldier to have a confirmed kill with bow and arrow in WWII
User avatar #15 - fuckya (09/11/2012) [-]
Like the way how its written out... Just like how they did it at Cracked.
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#3
btw, he had a bagpipe
'When the Germans found him, he was playing "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his bagpipes. Oh, we didn't mention that? He carried them right next to his big ******* sword.'
#112 - poniesfuckedmeover (09/11/2012) [+] (1 reply)
When i read this all i think of his Kenpachi Zaraki with a Claymore...
#101 - nsfwdavid (09/11/2012) [-]
There can be only one
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