useless superpowers. OC-no Repost-???. USELESS. Come on, turn invisible in the dark? You would be an ultimate ninja. kill someone, and hide somewhere dark. no one will find you
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useless superpowers

OC-no
Repost-???

Tags: WTF | You | looking | at
USELESS
...
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Views: 47387
Favorited: 182
Submitted: 09/09/2012
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Comments(369):

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User avatar #4 - whycanticaps (09/10/2012) [+] (6 replies)
Come on, turn invisible in the dark? You would be an ultimate ninja. kill someone, and hide somewhere dark. no one will find you
+62
#59 - dontrixster **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #106 - bennyandwills (09/10/2012) [+] (7 replies)
A lot of these are actually awesome (and some of these have been pointed out in the comment section):
Acid Tears - Have fun escaping from any locked room, container, or bond, as well as being able to have a sneaky surprise attack on any grappled enemy
Invisibility in the Dark - Assuming they mean incomplete darkness, then that's super useful. You'd be the ultimate burglar, or able to escape from anyone after ducking into an alley.
Control Remote Control - That's obvious. We've all been there; you need to change the channel but the remote is too far away! Now you have the power of the Kinect in your hand, haha.
75% Levitation - You are now an instant Parkour expert, as well as a long-jumping champion. You could easily turn to a life of crime, scaling building easily and clearing fences with little issue.
Super Slow-Mo - You are now a dubstep dancing champion. Seriously, you'd be the life of any club.
1 second Super Strength - Assuming it refreshes every now and then, you could land a one hit KO on a rival, or Chuck Norris an unsuspecting car or door. Nobody would mess with you after that.
Turn into a Laptop Forever - You can now access all the porn in the world, and watch most of it at the same time. You can surf the internet, stay awake forever, and have access to infinite knowledge. Even with the loss of mobility, that is pretty tempting.

TL;DR - Yeah, I disagree with the "useless" label :)
#114 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/10/2012) [+] (13 replies)
75% levitation - Win all olympic jumping sports
Bullet attraction - Wear a bulletproof suit, stop all gun crime/war worldwide, win Nobel Peace Prize
Super slo mo - Make your kickass own movie
Revive bugs - If anyone kills spiderbro, you can bring his soul back from the underworld
1 second super strength - Punch someone
Seduce hats - steal hats, ???, profit
#344 - GeorgeBush (09/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
This image has expired
The ability to sweat gravy.
The ability to tunnel exceptionally quickly through custard.
The ability to jump great distances, but not be able to survive the landing.
The ability to turn into a stone... once.
The ability to, as a man, give really great blowjobs.
The ability to turn black in a 20 foot proximity to cops.
The ability to change the color of your internal organs non-selectively.
The ability to drown in 1 inch of water.
User avatar #112 - nickninjanizzle (09/10/2012) [-]
i dont know about you but invisibility in the dark would be awesome. panties, panties everywhere!
#327 - kaepora (09/10/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Reasons why these are wrong
Acid tears: Collect your tears for a while, boom you got acid. Seems pretty nice to me.
Invisibility in the dark: Well it'd be great for a thief to be invisible, especially at night. People would be all freaked out cuz it's dark anyways. Bomb ass **** .
Control remote control: Never have to get off the couch again. EVER.
Communicate with fruit: You could ask if they're ripe. Never eat a nasty fruit again.
Revive bugs: You'd be the king of all of Asia/Australia (monster bugs there)
1 Second super strength: Your punches would wreck people, I mean hell there are thousands of situations where a second of super strength would be great.
User avatar #41 - randomnab (09/10/2012) [-]
1 second super strength.

Punch the **** out of everyone.
#219 - pretzelz (09/10/2012) [+] (9 replies)
invisibility in the dark you can become the ultimate ninja
#354 - thedarkestrogue (09/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Best superpower ever.
+9
#216 - prestigepaperz **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#26 - ultimateiceman ONLINE (09/10/2012) [-]
Are you kidding me? invisibility in the dark would be great, you could be a super thief.
User avatar #284 - waaw (09/10/2012) [+] (6 replies)
I found a use for everything but invisible handwriting. Good job to anyone who can.

Acid Tears: Just get them off your face quickly and you can burn anybody.
Invisibility in the dark: Technically almost everywhere is dark compared to somewhere else. So this is invisibility.
Control Remote Control: Get dozens of remote controls, use them as weapons.
Communicate with fruit: Place fruit in important places, use them as spies
Trash Detection: Get tons of money from 5 cent bottle deposits
75% Levitation: It's like being able to weigh 25% of your weight at any time. Jump further, run faster and longer, fall further without being injured (Before amateur scientists call me on this, you have the same air resistance but lower weight so you do actually fall slower)
Summon a Lamp: Do this either on a bet with really good odds, or to make people think you can do it whenever you want, or use it as a weapon once by summoning a lamp inside someone's head
Bullet Attraction: Go to the military, show them this, then go in a tank with a squad of soldiers and protect them totally from bullets. Be hero.
Read your mind: Never need a psychoanalyst
Instant Hair Loss: Never need to go to the barber, win some bar bets.
Arm Hair: Make rope instantly
Absorb Bad Luck: Go with friend to casino, absorb his bad luck, split the winnings.
Super Slo Mo: When you're sitting through something boring, use this. It'll slow down your thoughts too so it seems to go by quicker.
Revive Bugs: Go revive those ancient bugs trapped in amber for science.
Ultra Fast Aging: Age a few years in a day, go public, write a book or something.
Invisible Handwriting: I can't think of any use here.
1 Second Super Strength: 1 Hit Kill Punch
Turn into a laptop: Become part of the internet, take control of all machines, become Skynet.
Seduce Hats: Easily steal peoples hats? I don't really know.
Desaturation: Would be ******* awesome. Make people think you're a wizard.
#271 - ogomer (09/10/2012) [-]
Dude.... the revive bug one, is not useless. Just imagine. You go into the woods and kill a crapton of bugs. Then you put them in different places inside of someone you don't likes house, like beneath sofa pillows and such. Then, when they get home, revive ALL the bugs at the same time. Imagine their faces when their walls and floors are crawling with hundreds of insects.
User avatar #241 - generaljosh (09/10/2012) [-]
75% levitation would be incredibly badass, if it makes it so you only switch between weighing 25% your weight and back again. You could jump 4 times as high, or dodge attacks at 4 times your normal speed. You could throw a punch at 4 times the normal acceleration, then switch your arm to its full weight, and be able to punch with 16 times as much force.
User avatar #350 - jothz (09/10/2012) [-]
The ability to move three small pebbles 1 inch at midnight on june 26, 2025
User avatar #105 - mynameisnotmike (09/10/2012) [-]
Jump off building with super slowmo? Not useless.
#34 - EMAILisOPTIONAL (09/10/2012) [-]
yeah but join all together
yeah but join all together
#226 - vindicted (09/10/2012) [-]
Get revive bugs power
summon Arthropleura from a fossil
???
profit

its the giant centipede
#156 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/10/2012) [-]
invisibility in the dark - At least I won't be eaten by Lions
Control remote control - Remote too far away? No problem!
Trash Detection - Hey, I won't say no to a free half eaten hotdog
75% levitation - Less friction burn when sliding along the ground
Bullet attraction - Stand behind a wall, protect your allies
Read your own mind - I don't even know what the **** goes on in there
Instant hairloss - Instant disguise
Abnormal Armhair growth - Wolverine, **** yeah!
Revive bugs - I feel bad when I accidently kill them :(
1 second super-strength - Knock out punch anyone I like
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