How to become rich

Step 1. Take out a huge loan at the bank

Step 2. Use these funds to buy gadgets at the following places: A children's toy store, a military surplus sale and a gun shop. Then, buy a shit ton of dry food, canned goods, etc.

Step 3. Buy an mp3 player and hook it up to a loudspeaker. Download "Scatman" to it.

Step 4. Drive over to area 51.

Step 6. Put down your ancient device, connected to it's loudspeaker, and activate it somewhere within the perimeter.

Step 7. While everybody is distracted, Sprint into the complex and take the elevator down.

Step 8. Run into the labs, then take everything that looks strange. I don't care if it's a lightbulb, you fucking steal that shit like a nigger that needs beer money.

Step 9. They would have caught on to you by now, so instead of leaving, Run down to the deepest part of the complex, and hide behind a crate or something.

Step 10. Stay there for a year straight. Don't take any chances. Survive off your food and employee lunches.