You thought it was vodka

"Changes the molecules of the water"

I'm sorry but what

Is water.

infused with fulvic acid
pH of 9.0

wut

Fulvic acid is also known as humic acid. "Humic", as in humus, as in COMPOST. It's water with compost juice in it, effectively. It tastes like shit, and it is for this reason. And yes, I am serious.

you can tell it's fake because it's black and it works.

Just... just wow.

It's an acid, but has a basic pH?

It is "naturally black so changes the molecules of the water"?

Really, OP? Really?

"Changes the water molecules".....

Claim 1: Contains fulvic acid. Well, with a pH of 9, that is not possible since the definition of an acid is something with a pH of less than 7. You probably mean fulvic compounds or fulvic minerals, possibly potassium fulvate, I've not got the hard data on humic or fulvic compounds to tell exactly what Metals would chelate best.

Claim 2: Fulvic acid changes the molecules of water to make it black. No, false. The water is not changed. The suspended organic macromolecules absorb photons (Light), and so we precieve it to be black. The water is not changed, if you extracted the fulvic compounds, the water would be clear. Also, it is probably dyed slightly to make the black so attractive. I've used light brown fulvic acid in the lab, and though it might be diffrent if it comes from diffrent soil(It is not ONE compound, rather a mixture of similar compounds, kinda like petrol, or fusel oils).

Claim 3: Has a pH of 9. Possible, though the manufacturer does not list It's contents anywhere on the site.

Claim 4: Has electrolytes and trace minerals from fulvic acid. Yes.

Claim 5: Regenerates cells. No! Humans have VERY limited regenerative capabilities. We do not grow back limbs or chunks of missing tissue. Only the liver can regenerate to any meaningfull degree. If you mean replenish electrolytes to cells quickly, that is another thing indeed. Neither this, nor regular water regenerates cells.

Claim 6: Is a powerfull antioxidant. Yes, large organic molecules are good antioxidants. So are blueberries, and they are more tasty.
Actually my Organic chemistry teacher has a theory that the american cancer epidemic is held in check only by Ketchup (has a lot of antioxidants).

Claim 6: You thought it was just another bottle of Vodka. False, I thought it was some foul liqueur.

Conclusion. This post is ill informed and highly misleading. 1/10 Would not buy.
Sources: The top of my head, and BSC in Organic chemistry.
Image related, some german mapped fulvic acids structure.

No.
No.
I was going to just carry on and keep brosing but I'm going to fucking remedy this because it's stupid.

You cannot change the fucking colour of molecules without a chemical reaction taking place. No chemical reaction is taking place here because if there were, it would not be fucking water anymore.

All that has happened here is that the Fulvic Acid has dissolved into the water and diffused to an extent that it is present in equal quantities throughout the bottle. Because water has no colour and Fulvic Acid does, the liquid becomes black.

Enhancing the speed of cell regeneration by drinking water is just the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Water does not enhance the speed of regeneration.

You could argue that Fulvic Acid does. You could also argue that eating the wings of a pigeon gives you the ability to fly and you'd still be just as wrong.

it's water with acid, has a pH of 9, seems legit.

awwwwh yeah Canada

Wait a sec.

If it's infused with fulvic "acid", or what call you, shouldn't it have a pH lower than 7?

Wait... Take some normal water (pH of 7.0) and add some plant acid (acid lowers pH) and it has a pH of 9.0? What?

When I read electrolytes, the only thing I thought was Brawndo from the movie Idiocracy

Has fulvic acid added and has a pH of 9. Anything over 7 is BASIC (Alkaline).
<--MFW

Regenerating cells faster than normal? That kind of sounds like cancer to me.

How does Fulvic acid make something more basic?
Also, water has nothing to do with, and I loath using the term, regenerating your cells.
Cell division requires energy, matter and hydration. Water only provides one of those. This black crap would speed up cell division no more than eating a damn grapefruit.

So it's infused with fulvic acid...but the pH goes up?

Wat.

You say that it turns water black? Therefore, it is only logical that if you drink enough of it, your blood cells will then turn black, creating black blood. Black blood will also make your skin color darker as well. So what you are basically telling me, is that this is basically a liquid form of tanner? However what if you over consume? Will this lead to a complete change of races? So IF i were to pour this into the ocean due to an evil diabolical scheme, it would turn the ocean black? This color would be more likely to absorb the suns heat, which would rapidly increase the effect of global warming to crazy levels. The ice caps would then melt releasing the fresh water which would be instantly turned black. With black water people wont drink anymore because they would be under the assumption that it is full of bacteria, therefore leading to increased hydration in all children and adults. If did not die due to the increased heat of the global warming, we would all become dehydrated. Is this the beginning of 2012? Is this the way we go out? For all of men's accomplishments have been for nothing? Can we truly as a society sit back and watch this catastrophe unfold without the slightest hindrance? I think not, I propose a plan, however harsh it may be, this may be the only way to save the world. We must begin to put funny things on funnyjunk. I know, its asking for alot. however, funny things on funnyjunk will keep education out of the picture, and if we are uneducated, we wont let this bottle of water fall into the wrong hands. I am very surprised that you had the courage to post this picture on the internet. Please make your address known to your fellow funnyjunkers so that one of us can safely dispose of the bottle. But heed my warning OP, if you are a fag, then you might unknowingly give your address to the very madman who is trying to end the world. But all we can do is now wait. Please for you & me. This bottle of water may be the end of the world as we know it.

Yes, I thought a black bottle was a bottle of vodka

The reflection in the bottle almost looks like Slenderman's arm position.