Use other door

I had this company that i delivered packages to daily while i worked at FedEx, and everytime i stepped out of the car, i had to run like a motherfucker to the front door, since there lived an angry seagull in the parking lot.
He attacked, and he attacked hard if you weren't quick.

Its a goose, not a fucking crocodile. Kick it, punch it, grab it's neck or something.

ASSERT YOUR DOMINANCE AS THE ALPHA MALE, LET HIM KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T FUCK WITH YOU!

People probably feed it.

daddy i want a goose that attacks people

Tweet tweet motherfucker.

**darkdanger rolled a random image posted in comment #143 at Stupid freshman is stupid ** Repost

insert scary chase music *here*

this happens in Canada all the time

I am a man who walks alone
And when I'm walking in a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when it's dark

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear that something's always near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia that someone's always there...

Geese, ducks, all the same, right?

Also: HFW

Meanwhile, outside a convenience store at the south pole.

Maaan FUCK the goose. Break its neck and cook him for dinner!

otherwise known as the North American Assholebird.

Then punch the fucking goose.

Kick goose in face.
Goose does not attack me next time.

Reminds me of a little story that happened a while back...a story that reminds me of why I fucking hate everything about these motherfuckers.
>Walking in the park with an old friend of mine, because we didn't have much else to do.
>Suddenly, we spot an entire army of geese, chilling by the small little pond area.
>Friend starts laughing and dares me to go touch one of the geese.
>"Uh...fuck you?"
>No fucking way in hell I'm going to touch one of those bastards.
>He just laughs at me, and says "whatever, I'll touch one."
>I know this is a terrible idea, but because I wanted him to learn his lesson, I just let him go for it.
>Friend starts to inch closer to the giant group, and suddenly we both realize something.
>All of the geese are surrounding one giant one, but keeping a distance at the same time.
>Friend stops dead in his tracks and notices that the giant beast is slowly turning in his direction.
>It makes a war cry that could only be described as some evil car honking from hell.
>All of the other geese get into attack mode, stand up straight, and start to charge towards my friend.
>OHFUCKOHFUCKSHITWHY
>Both of us run as fast as we can, to avoid these psychotic asshole birds.
>Both made it out of the situation alive.
>To this day, neither of us will ever go near geese again.