Me: "How can I help you today, ma' am?"
Client: "Is femail internet"?
Me: "I beg your pardon?"
Client: "Is femail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my email?''
Me: "Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your femail."
Client: "Oh, dear. I can' t see my femail."
Me: "Well, let' s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you
Client: "Open what?"
Me: "Your browser, can you open up your browser?"
Me: "What you click on when you want to browse the internet?"
Client: "I don' t use anything, my computer on, and rt' sthere."
Me: "Okay. Do you seethe little blue 'e' icon on your desktop?"
Client: "You mean I have to start writing letters again?"
Client: "I don' t have any pens at my desk. Ijust want my femail again."
Me: "No, ma' am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little
blue 'e' on your computer screen for me?"
Client: "Oh, this issoo much work. I' m too upset. Just send me my email. Can' t
you send me my email?''
Me: "I/ , ma' am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router
Client: "My what?"
Me: "The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - ts
most likely near your computer?"
Client: "Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my femail for me.
Me: "My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell
me what you' re seeing on your computer screen?"
Client: "ts been the same thing for the last two hours."
Me: "An error message?"
Client: "No, just stars. ts black and moving stars."
Me: 'Cdo you see your mouse next to your keyboard?"
Me: "Move it for me."
Client: "Move it?"
Me: "Yes. Move it"
Client: "My email!"