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The devil
Its a rather good point
If I was The Devil I would manifest myself
inside of a virgin, say that I am the Son of God
and convince everyone that they can now be
forgiven for every sin Just by asking, thus
opening the floodgates for an unprecedented
and unending torrent of sin.
I would start with the uneducated and the poor.
I would impress them with some magic tricks,
teach them to pretend to eat my flesh, drink my
blood and always, ALWAYS, use MY name
when speaking to God.
I would most assuredly use my immortality
to fool them into thinking I came back from
the dead as proof of my divinity.
What better way is there to channel more
souls away from God and straight into Hell?
LANCE SIEVE'S
inside of a virgin, say that I am the Son of God
and convince everyone that they can now be
forgiven for every sin Just by asking, thus
opening the floodgates for an unprecedented
and unending torrent of sin.
I would start with the uneducated and the poor.
I would impress them with some magic tricks,
teach them to pretend to eat my flesh, drink my
blood and always, ALWAYS, use MY name
when speaking to God.
I would most assuredly use my immortality
to fool them into thinking I came back from
the dead as proof of my divinity.
What better way is there to channel more
souls away from God and straight into Hell?
LANCE SIEVE'S
...
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#2
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N. Korean citizen (08/29/2012) [+]
(2 replies)
If I was the devil I would ban thousands of users with no warning at all
#23
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galkawhm (08/30/2012) [+]
(5 replies)
If I was the devil I'd put this fucker in every videogame ever.
#18
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JSTNBEIBER (08/30/2012) [+]
(2 replies)
My ex claimed I would be a satanist if I prayed for Satan and almost broke up with me for asking why not. She was quite the crazy bitch.
#94
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thesnarfalarker (08/30/2012) [-] I would put no checkpoints in the water temple in Ocarina of Time
#131
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I Am Monkey (08/30/2012) [+]
(1 reply)
It's a common misconception that you just have to say you're sorry. You have to repent, which is "to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent". It's about being sorry, not saying sorry.
#138
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severepwner (08/30/2012) [+]
(4 replies)
I've heard a lot of misinterpreted things in my time, and that was probably the most misinterpreted thing I have ever read in my entire life.
I also have a lot of red thumbs to my right.
I also have a lot of red thumbs to my right.
#147
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antiherojoshua (08/30/2012) [+]
(3 replies)
If Odin isn't real how come the there are no frost giants in Valhalla?
Christians:0
Atheists:0
Vikings:1
Christians:0
Atheists:0
Vikings:1
#172
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fedor (08/30/2012) [+]
(1 reply)
I'm gonna be quite honest here.
The only thing I remember from my childhood, which involved religion that I was taught in school etc. is the violent parts. Nothing else. And all of that violence was brought upon by "God". I hate how I was forced to listen to it and read about it, and I can't believe that anyone would devote their lives to it. It's beyond me.
My body is ready for red thumbs.
The only thing I remember from my childhood, which involved religion that I was taught in school etc. is the violent parts. Nothing else. And all of that violence was brought upon by "God". I hate how I was forced to listen to it and read about it, and I can't believe that anyone would devote their lives to it. It's beyond me.
My body is ready for red thumbs.
#10
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Vandeekree (08/29/2012) [-] Not sure it was said for the right reasons but I like it. I think he's saying "question everything and take care in what you choose to believe"
#1
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N. Korean citizen (08/29/2012) [+]
(7 replies)
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? (Matthew 5:43-47 )
Pretty sure the Devil wouldn't tell you to be kind and to love everyone.
Pretty sure the Devil wouldn't tell you to be kind and to love everyone.
#129
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thisotherdude (08/30/2012) [+]
(4 replies)
Frankly I don't care if god is or isn't real, if there is an all seeing, all loving, all understanding being that is so petty and wants so much damned attention that he threatens to eternally torment anyone who might have a hard time swallowing that whole "there's a magic man in the sky with absolutely no scientific evidence to back it up" then I'd rather be chilling with the devil. From what I've read and hear from Christians god is basically a spoiled little brat, wants absolutely everything without question and throws a fucking hissy-fit if he doesn't get it.
Inb4 brutal thumb rape and angry hate comments
Inb4 brutal thumb rape and angry hate comments
