Likelihood

#6 - givehimthemulk (08/12/2012) [+] (23 replies)

I guess I should postpone my plans of masturbating with a belt around my neck while I have phone sex while riding a hippo on top of a volcano during a lightning storm until I lose a few pounds.

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#230 to #6 - Ryu (08/12/2012) [-]

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#244 to #230 - lorentz (08/12/2012) [-]

but I see no masturbation..

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#464 to #244 - thehardcorechimp (08/12/2012) [-]

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#488 to #464 - lorentz (08/12/2012) [-]

Glorious..

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#633 to #464 - trolltyler (08/13/2012) [-]

It will be amazing when somebody rolls this.

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#844 to #464 - leakypillow (08/13/2012) [-]

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#817 to #464 - bearsixteen (08/13/2012) [-]

this has to be the single greatest thing ive seen on this website thank you

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#483 to #464 - acarrot has deleted their comment. [-]

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#754 to #464 - xtwinblade (08/13/2012) [-]

**xtwinblade rolled a random image posted in comment #572 at Typicall **

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#254 to #244 - Ryu (08/12/2012) [-]

He said he was postponing those plans good fellow.

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#831 to #244 - retardfridge (08/13/2012) [-]

It's all mental

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#439 to #244 - majordraco ONLINE (08/12/2012) [-]

I don't see a roller coaster either but you where looking for masturbation...?

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#865 to #230 - demonmaster (08/13/2012) [-]

Why is he wearing a belt while one is around his neck...

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#847 to #6 - givehimthemulk has deleted their comment. [-]

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#852 to #847 - fedegon ONLINE (08/13/2012) [-]

Muffin button.

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#848 to #847 - oboehobo (08/13/2012) [-]

nigger

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#799 to #6 - cammyfan (08/13/2012) [-]

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#856 to #6 - sekeido (08/13/2012) [-]

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#570 to #6 - lepokerface (08/13/2012) [-]

I'm curious, why do people strangle themselves during masturbation?

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#842 to #570 - tophatcigar **User deleted account** (08/13/2012) [-]

Supposedly, when you are near death, you get really horny.
Something to do with humans wanting to breed alot, and pop one last one out before they die.

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#674 to #570 - divide **User deleted account** (08/13/2012) [-]

Something about making the orgasm much better or something.

That's what I heard.

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#846 to #674 - orgasm (08/13/2012) [-]

Aww shit now I'm brought up to the conversation

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#854 to #846 - fedegon ONLINE (08/13/2012) [-]

At least you aren`t User.

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#56 - slimtheshady (08/12/2012) [+] (9 replies)

"I can't eat that wounded shipwreck survivor struggling in the water, we've already killed five humans this year." thought no shark ever.

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#843 to #56 - slimtheshady (08/13/2012) [-]

Holy shit when did all these thumbs happen.

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#279 to #56 - roarflmao has deleted their comment. [-]

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#299 to #279 - N. Korean citizen (08/12/2012) [-]

-thought no shark ever

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#305 to #299 - roarflmao has deleted their comment. [-]

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#326 to #305 - N. Korean citizen (08/12/2012) [-]

The bull shark has a testosterone count of about 900, that's around three times what a human's is. I don't think they honestly care how something tastes enough not to kill it.

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#331 to #326 - roarflmao has deleted their comment. [-]

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#397 to #279 - amusingtoaster (08/12/2012) [-]

Sharks dont think "Oh, it's a human. I cant eat that. It may taste bad and the toxic particles in its body may harm me D:" Im pretty sure its more like "CEMMRE YOU FLESHY FUCKSTICK."

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#446 to #397 - thrashish (08/12/2012) [-]

sharks have vagina brains. of course they dont think.

0

#445 to #397 - thrashish has deleted their comment. [-]

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#83 - darkilark (08/12/2012) [-]

It's the dolphins you have to watch out for.

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#95 - winsauceiswin (08/12/2012) [+] (2 replies)

i was so sure this was going to end with "weed 0 deaths per year"

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#676 to #95 - N. Korean citizen (08/13/2012) [-]

or AIDS 0 deaths per year

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#100 to #95 - Awesomecarrot (08/12/2012) [-]

Same here

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#107 - Lieutenant (08/12/2012) [-]

I call bullshit

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#45 - halfdemon (08/12/2012) [-]

sharks are pretty cuddly, Putin gets it

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#175 - thenoluk (08/12/2012) [+] (2 replies)

> Hotdogs - 80 kids dead / year

the officers misunderstood when i said they all choked on my wiener.

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#820 to #175 - afternoon (08/13/2012) [-]

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#866 to #820 - thenoluk (08/13/2012) [-]

Kiddies can't handle my meat.

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#401 - joshlols (08/12/2012) [-]

>Deers
>ers
>rs
>s

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#617 - phoenixice (08/13/2012) [-]

looks like the likelihood of dying from obesity...

...is not very slim

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#412 - bigdogmt (08/12/2012) [-]

"deers"

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#383 - boogaa **User deleted account** (08/12/2012) [+] (3 replies)

Showers in 1945 caused 6.million deaths.wow thay must have been slippery.

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#386 to #383 - Soilwork (08/12/2012) [-]

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#402 to #383 - N. Korean citizen (08/12/2012) [-]

i think it caused way more.

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#392 to #383 - N. Korean citizen (08/12/2012) [-]

This fucking guy.

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#627 - N. Korean citizen (08/13/2012) [-]

what have you done to me fj...

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#151 - racrox (08/12/2012) [-]

I call some serious bullshit on the lightning and football.

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#58 - psydoc (08/12/2012) [+] (1 reply)

87% of stats on the internet are made up on the spot.

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#795 - theonetruespitfire (08/13/2012) [+] (3 replies)

le #YOLO

XDDD

UMAD?!?!?

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#801 to #795 - lordheckler ONLINE (08/13/2012) [-]

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#803 to #795 - NutHut (08/13/2012) [-]

le shift+x le shift+d

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#802 to #795 - N. Korean citizen (08/13/2012) [-]

not really. More confused as to why you thought the first part was so hilarious.

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#472 - jorn (08/12/2012) [+] (12 replies)

WEED 0 DEATHS A YEAR

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#478 to #472 - saxophan (08/12/2012) [-]

0 DIRECT deaths per year.

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#482 to #472 - moltrez (08/12/2012) [-]

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#518 to #472 - garentei (08/12/2012) [-]

Well people die from marihuana for getting high and doing crazy shit.

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#521 to #518 - jorn (08/12/2012) [-]

People, high on WEED, doing crazy shit? what are they gonna die of too much cheetos, and video games, dumb ass.

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#523 to #521 - garentei (08/12/2012) [-]

You know high people can like jump out of their windows or something?

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#536 to #523 - garentei (08/12/2012) [-]

I've seen high people (my friends) start walking around a lot when they're high, I guess that could lead to falling out of your balcony or something...

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#529 to #523 - jorn (08/12/2012) [-]

Um, no, that's hallucinations. eg, Shrooms, acid, shit like that, Weed doesn't do that.

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#539 to #529 - garentei (08/12/2012) [-]

I've seen high people (my friends) start walking around a lot when they're high, I guess that could lead to falling out of your balcony or something...

(replied to myself...)

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#702 to #539 - nogphille ONLINE (08/13/2012) [-]

honestly man, weed makes you mellow and passive, if he's going to fall off the balcony because he's smoked too much pot, NEVER give that man a beer...

even on shrooms i wouldn't fall off a balcony.. but then again, i've never had a very good hallucinogenic experience..

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#543 to #539 - jorn (08/12/2012) [-]

If you did do that, then you are one dumb ass person.

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#546 to #543 - garentei (08/12/2012) [-]

No, I don't smoke. My friends do, they are dumb asses?

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#476 to #472 - hobomeak (08/12/2012) [-]

GOOD SHOW SIR

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#148 - thatevanguy (08/12/2012) [+] (1 reply)

How do you get killed by a soda macine?

Does it fall on you or something? If so...could my similarly sized fridge do the same thing?

I'm scared for my life now...

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#496 - loveyameanish (08/12/2012) [+] (1 reply)

Anyone who is killed by a soda machine PROBABLY deserves to be dead.

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#717 to #496 - nogphille ONLINE (08/13/2012) [-]

i agree, darwinism should be practiced more, no more excessive warning labels, if people are going to drink bleach or 'inhale smaller pieces', they deserve it..

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#448 - N. Korean citizen (08/12/2012) [-]

Shaq
10 deaths a year.

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#792 - bizzarenight (08/13/2012) [-]

**bizzarenight rolled a random image posted in comment #275034 at FJ Pony Thread 14 ** what kills me..

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Likelihood

of getting killed by a shark is slim.

also inb4 deer*

Comments(804):

Likelihood

of getting killed by a shark is slim. also inb4 deer*

Comments(804):

of getting killed by a shark is slim.

also inb4 deer*