Heart

My dad did something similar a few years ago. I had a seizure and woke up in the middle of the night at the hospital not remembering anything or even knowing where I was at. My dad was in the room with me, and the room I was in wasn't lit up too well. I saw my dad and asked "Where am I, what happened?!" He responded very seriously, "Son, you've been in a coma for five months" My heart sank. I started freaking the fuck out. Then he was like "HAHA nah I'm kidding you just hit your head and had a seizure you're fine." Fucking troll dad.

Girl: I'm having a vagina surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy, I love you more, much more!
After surgery, when the girl woke up, only her father is next to her bed.
Girl: Where is he?
Father: You don't know who gave you the vagina?
Girl: What?

>Have to have operation on knee
>Anaesthetist comes in
>6'5" Russian by the name of Vladimir Golov
>"I'm here to put you to sleep"
>Ohfuck
>Give me aesthetic
>Counting backwards from 10
>Stop at 5
>RISE LIKE A SEAMONSTER ROARING
>Vladamir absolutely shits his Russian pants
>No memory after that

I've had heart surgery.
You don't just wake up. You're basically an orally impaired retard with half-open eyes.

GOOOD! GOOOD! put her under pressure and make her cry right after heart surgery!

lyk dis if u cry evertym

seriously the joke is older than the internet

<----The Boyfriend

A better version:
Girl: I'm having vagina surgery today, I'm scared.
Boy: So am I, I love you.
Girl: I love you too.
* After the surgery *
Girl: Where did he go?!
Dad: Don't you know who gave you the vagina?
Girls face when

>Gets skull smashed by 200lb falling tree branch
>Blacks out
>Wakes up in hospital one week later
>In so much pain
>All my hair is gone
>Asks what happened
>They tell me I've been in there a week
>They tell me I was swearing ever swear word in the book while i was out
>They also tell me how I kicked a nurse in the face
>And how i was begging people to take me out of there saying I would give them money if they did
pokerface.jpg

like dis if u cry evertim

It's funny because they get to meet heath ledger. there is no heaven.

<- The father's face when he realizes he's part of the joke

I was expecting for a funny twist at the end, because this joke is so worn out it makes me want to "cry everytym", and all I got was 2 stupid worn out memes. Fml