The Phases of Poop Part 3!. Part 1: /funny_pictures/392554/The+Phases+of+Poop/<br /> Part 2: /funny_pictures/393577/The+Phases+of+Poop+Part+2/<br /> Phases of poop three
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The Phases of Poop Part 3!

Dakunism Presents:
The Ghost Poop:
You went to the toilet,
pulled down your pants, pushed a
turd out, and feel accomplished.
You look Between your legs to
examine your poop, But where is it?
You know you pooped, so where did
it go? You think wiping solve
the case, But to make things even
weirder.... there' s nothing on the
toilet pape of the strangest
phenomena you will ever
There is no evidence of
poop, really happen, or did
you imagine it?
None needed, though
you wipe continuously Because
you can' t Just get up without
the mm
The Green Poop:
You never know why or
when it' s going to happen, it Just
does. You t down and you take
what feels like a normal poop. You
think ‘Job well done!’ and Begin to
wipe. After wiping you do what
everyone else does and look at the
toilet paper... oniy to find out that
this is no ordinary poop. You
must' Been chugging some food
coloring or eating grass, Because
this poop is green'. Fucking
GREEN!! There are no other side
effects of this poop other than the
distinct look of confusion on your
Normal, But GREEN'.
The Silly String Poop:
It' s long, it' s stringy, and
it sends a tingle down your spine
and every other nerve in your
body. It' s Just one long poop that
must Be " feet long and only .5
inches in diameter. You almost
cringe as you feel what closely
resembles a giant wonn crawling
out of your ass.
Super soft and super
You will need sheet
after sheet to clean up
this mess.
The All Work and No Play Poo
And you thought this
poop was going to Be relaxing. After
this poop, me lat tasks such as
mg down w Be compared to a
marathon. This poop takes rules
from no man. It will come out when
it wants to come out. You strain
and push as hard as you can for at
least an hour, and all you'
managed to do is move the poop a
whole 3 inches out of your Butthole.
This poop is almost NEVER
accomplished without Busting a
blood vessel in your eye. When
completed, several hours later, you
are drained of all energy. You must
then waddle over to your bed, lie
down, and cry Into your pillow
over the horrible things your poop
did to you.... you may also want to
consider counseling.
What' s stronger than
diamonds? What? Nothing?
It' s not really wiping
when you use gauze pads and
The Funny Ending Poop:
You sit down to pinch a loaf
as usual and everything is running
smoothly. It feels Just like every other
poop except for one thing. Your poop
feels like its accelerating at an unusual
rate. It comes out faster and faster until
Fmaily, a poop that resembles baby
food Just plops out of your Butt with a
h rious sounding splat and a
hilarious sounding fart. You take a
second to think over what Just
happened. But then you Just can' t help
yourself'. You Bust out laughing'.
End: Baby Food
Depending on how much
splatter, you may need a little more
than your average poop.
I' m thinking about doing another, but I need y' all to
comment below so y' all
can tell me if it' s getting old or
not! Thanks for everything guys'.'.
Views: 59834 Submitted: 05/01/2010
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#103 - Silentish
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(05/01/2010) [-]
The Rocket Poop
You sit down and you try to force the poop out of you, not realizing that there's a giant reservoir of gas behind it. You push too hard, and the fart "ignites" and forces the turd out of your asshole like it has it's own rocket engine.
Texture: It came out so fast that you didn't even feel it
Wiping: It came out so fast that nothing could get stuck to your asshole
#162 - sychoman
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(05/01/2010) [-]
peek a boo poo
you sit down and you push as hard as you can but it just wont come out then finaly a little tiny end comes out but you have pushed to long you have wasted your energy you cant help but stop pushing and BAM it crawls right back into your ass
User avatar #284 to #162 - BigMacAttack
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
"and BAM, it crawls right back into your ass"

please sir, take this internet with you.
#360 to #284 - sychoman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
Why thank you
#183 to #162 - akron **User deleted account**
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
that.....has happened to me
#187 to #183 - sychoman
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
i hate the **** out of it.
#188 to #187 - akron **User deleted account**
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
its ****** annoying. Its mockin your useless effort, and you go "FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
#194 to #188 - sychoman
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
and then an hour later you get it ands its the biggest " **** yeah " of all time
#195 to #194 - akron **User deleted account**
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
#169 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
well i guess you do lots of **** on your free time
User avatar #171 to #169 - mrjokes
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
User avatar #215 - scookie
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
i just sat down on the toilet when i saw this post. i had already been pushing and heaving for a full 10 minutes before this came by me. i had a headache from squeezing, was extremely short of breath and if i pushed any harder, my innards would have hit the toilet bottom. i then proceeded to read it about 20 times. then the laptop batteries died.
i look down to see the fruits of my labor, to discover..
i had created the worlds most painful 'all work and no play poop'
and yes, i actually went through th trouble of plugging my laptop in, mid-turd, to retell my story. i am considering counseling
User avatar #466 - kylebaker
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
**kylebaker rolls 0** if this ends in 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 im cool
User avatar #469 to #466 - kylebaker
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
Dam... forgot 0
User avatar #471 to #469 - sinety
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
uploading this **** xD
User avatar #478 to #477 - KidoBear
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
User avatar #479 to #478 - sinety
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
ahh xD
User avatar #470 to #466 - sinety
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
User avatar #472 to #466 - KidoBear
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
AHHAHA you just got owned!
User avatar #476 to #466 - Badonkadonk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
lmao that sucks
User avatar #338 - frenchblablabla
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
This is complete ****
#349 to #338 - NaziYahtzee **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
never heard that before
#363 to #338 - SeekerofD **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #346 to #338 - YouDamnSkippy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
ho oh,
User avatar #178 - Staardustt
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
******* LOVE THIS ****! <3
User avatar #285 to #178 - BigMacAttack
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
Oh very punny.
User avatar #180 to #178 - KefkaTheBurninator
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
#22 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account**
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(05/01/2010) [-]
this is so ****** a good way! keep it coming
#40 to #22 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/01/2010) [-]
get original from yourself
#109 - EpicTie
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(05/01/2010) [-]
Devils' ****
at first it feels like everything is normal, but then out of ******* no where your feels like its been torched by the sun. your stomach starts to hurt and it feels like your ******* fire. and at he very very end you release that sound resembles a whale giving birth.
texture: liquid/chunks of diamond
Wiping: a long grueling cleaning process
User avatar #254 - AcRMobius
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
NOO you must keep making moar
i havent laughed this hard in a while
Its impossible for me to read it outloud
its so funny :D
Could you dedicate your next one to me?
#255 to #254 - Cheyne
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
You want poop dedicated to you?O.O
User avatar #257 to #255 - randomthumbsdowner
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
It does sound like a load of **** when you put it like that.
#258 to #257 - Cheyne
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(05/02/2010) [-]
I see what u did thar.