Honest invitation. Works for me. IEA favor ofyour ' Dirteh) Requested' ATTENDANCE Will Attend Will Not Attend Will Say I Plan To Attend ' Then I Won' t Show Wit
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Honest invitation

Works for me

IEA favor ofyour '
Dirteh) Requested'
ATTENDANCE
Will Attend
Will Not Attend
Will Say I Plan To Attend ' Then I Won' t Show Without Any
Explanation, Even Though You Already Had To Pay Far Me in
The Advance Headcount
Will Attend And Will Bring A Date, Even Though The invite
Offered Ho Indication That I Could Bring A Date, But You' re
Cool With it, Right?
BAHA cyt
Will Show Up Drunk, And Will Quickly Get Much Drunker
Will Make An Unsolicited Toast That Makes Ample Use Of The
And A Few Choice: Uses Of The "Colord"
l' ll Try Not To Make A Scene, But There Are Going To Be
A Lot Of People At That Reception That I Haven' t Seen in
A While, And I Have Some Scores To Settle
i' m The Bride' s Ex, So i Plan To Spend Most Of The Reception
Staring At The Two Of You With Plaintive Longing in My Eyes
Think The institution Marriage is Archaic And Sexist And I
Look Forward To Voicing My Position Repeatedly To
Whomever At My Table Will Listen
Can' t Wait To Hook Up With A Groomsman in The Men' s Room
Then Spend The Rest Of The Wedding Crying At The Bar Without
Explanation
Gonna Throw A Punch. Not Sure At Who. Weddings Just Bring
Something Out Me, Man.
GIFTS
Will Bring You A Gilt That I Purchased From Your Registry
You' re Getting Cash
I' ll Be Donating To A Charity in Your Home To Simultaneously
Pat Myseld On The Back While Making Sure You Get Squat
Can' t Wait To Regift The **** Gut Of The Hideous Duvet Cover
You Gave Me At My Wedding
i' m Making You A Crappy Craft item And We All Have To
Pretend That Because I Made it, it' s Somehow More Special
Than it I' d Just Gotten You Something You Wanted
The Gag Gift I Buy You is Going To Be For Less Hilarious And
Far More Hostile Than l intended
Nat Buying You A Wedding Gift. Nat Giving You An
Explanation. You' ll Just Have To Go To Your Graves
Wondering What The Hell My Problem is.
MEAL CHOICES
Ra ast Beet
Chicken
Vegetarian
I Have A Legitimate Food Allergy
I Have So Many Food Allergies You' ll Wonder How I' m Still
Alive, Let Alone How I Could Expect To Be Accommodated
At A Massive Catered Event
Vegan, And I Reine To Share A Table With
Murdere rs'')
l Don' t Get Much Attention From My Loved Ynes, So i Want To
Make The Most Of This. Please See The Back Of This RSVP For
My Extensive List Impossible Dietary Restrictions.
Thease Return (This RSV? Several" Weeks Gifter
The Date (Requested,' '/ ima, It Is
Treaty pfog 'Use To Anyone
...
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