Avoids Tragedy, Whale Rape Coast
john]: done 29, noein k Comments
Norfolk, VA - Having an
mini own contact appear off the
stern can be a frightening scenario
for many era, hut its
even worse when that sonar blip is
searching for a mate.
The close shadowing of numerous
submarines by whales was recently revealed
by Admiral William , Director of
Submarine Services for the Atlantic Fleet.
We never like to see a contact following us,
and for quite a few subs out there, it' s been a
frightening ordeal,” said .
the sub that dealt with a strange tail was the USS Baltimore.
We were traveling submerged approximately 25 miles off the Virginia coast when Chief
Robinson contact with an unidentified object following less than goo yards behind,”
said Captain Steven Horowitz. “I took evasive action, but we just couldnt shake him.”
In what is considered a remarkable, but anal decision, Captain Horowitz called on
Senior Chief James Tins' of SEAL Team 3 to investigate.
The Chief selected three from his SEAL team that happened to be awake, not occupied in the can,
or flirting with one of the female Lighten ants, to assist with the mission. The SEALS exited the sub
using the number 4 torpedo tube, and waited for the 'sh adorn" to appear.
When I saw it, I just about shit my pang” said (SEAL) Jason Bingham. Ht was a whale, and
he had a fucking erection. He was headed straight for the assland of the sub."
Thinking quickly, Bingham decided to strike the whale first.
I pulled a theslight out and poked him on the nose as hard as I could, which caused the whale
to go flatterd and abort his attack.“
When the SEAR reported back to the sub, Captain Horowitz told the Team to cut the shit and tell
the damn truth.
After realism g they werent exaggerating, he then reported the incident to Atlantic: Fleet.
Admiral assured him that this wasn' t an isolated incident. Tracking similar stories, the
Admiral had postulated that the dam age, aml/ or disappearance, of at least four subs in the past
year “could be attributed to horny whales.”
A committee has been appointed to determine the best method to avoid future whale attacks on
submarines. the member recommended towing a theslight armed SEAL behind every
submarine, but was voted down due to the concern of losing the SEAL to shark attacks.
We dont train these boys to be sh ark chum,” said Admiral .
Another suggestion of towing one of the female officers behind the sub as a decoy was tossed out
due to concerns of sexual harassment accusations.
While the committee has so far failed to develop a viable plan, they did recommend that Petty
Bingham be given some type of award for saving the Baltimore from impending whale
rape. This recommendation means another committee has been established to design an
appropriate “Cock Block” ribbon.