Self Service Checkout Comp

The only good thing about these machines is that they don't awkwardly give you your change back, bills first, coins on top. Then you don't have to try your hardest to hold it all, spill the coins on the floor, and then your lonely dad doesn't beat you when you get home for embarrassing him in front of the pretty cashier... Then the neighbors don't hear screaming and call the police, and you don't get put into a foster family. Your new foster dad won't make movies of you and your foster sister in the basement and tell you that if you tell anyone, he'll have to cut out your tongue... Yeah... Now that I think about it, those machines aren't so bad...

"I will pretend you haven't placed perviously purchased item in the bagging area, and you will have to wait for shop guardian fucktard to come along."

Scans milk and puts in bagging area.

"THERE'S SOMETHING UNEXPECTED IN THE BAGGING AREA."

There's a 'Mute' button on those things. Bottom left of the screen for most of em. I click that as soon as it's available.

**anokata rolled a random image posted in comment #9 at KILL IT **

Last one got me good.

i never use those things i dont want the machines to learn our way or currency so when we are overun by machines they will think gold isnt worth shit so their currency will be based off of like, idk fucking possium assholes or some shit and we will still be rich. dumb fucking machine. #tangerines

"You had a row with a machine?"
"Well, it sat there and I shouted abuse."

My local Wal-Mart, which is in a nice area, has fallen to a piece of shit. Even the card readers at the attended lines are shitty.

These things are bullshit, firstly because they don't work and secondly because they're just a cheap way for corporate executives to save money by decreasing jobs.

you would not believe how many people forget there bags or change, even with it reminding them.

lol asda

But these things do have a mute button. Before you start, there should be a button you can press to the bottom of the screen that adjusts the volume. After going to maximum volume, it goes to mute, and then cycles back through really quiet to OH FUCK THATS LOUD.
It doesnt fix all the problems, but its a hell of a lot less annoying.