Dogs & Cats Diary. not mine. Excerpts from a Dog' s Diary... EDD am ' Dog feed! My favorite thing! 9: 30 am H A car ride! My favorite thing! 9: 40 am - A walk i
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Dogs & Cats Diary

Excerpts from a Dog' s Diary...
EDD am ' Dog feed! My favorite thing!
9: 30 am H A car ride! My favorite thing!
9: 40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10: 30 am w Got rubbed and potted! My favorite thing!
12: 00 PM w Lune h! My favorite thing!
1: 00 PM u Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3: 00 PM w Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
S: 00 PM u Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7: 00 PM w Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
EDD PM u Wow! Watt: hed TV with the people! My fave rite thing!
11: 00 PM w Sleeping on the bed! M y fave rite thing!
Excerpts from a {let' s Diary?
Day 933 of my captivity My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort nuggets. Although! make my
contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good
little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight I
was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergy es' I must
learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving are und his feet as he was walking
I must try this again tomorrow m but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
mite hes. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released a and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird has got ta be an informant I observe him
communicating with the guards regularly I am certain that he
reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For new ....... ..
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Submitted: 06/24/2012
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#4 - Onemanretardpack (06/25/2012) [-]
Excerpt from OP's diary
#3 - itsmesnitches (06/25/2012) [-]
Did anyone else read the cats diary in a british accent?
#1 - picklefcker (06/24/2012) [-]
Laughed my balls off haha
Laughed my balls off haha
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