Women' s Edition]
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
What did God say when he created Adam?
I can do better than this.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A man rubbed a lam and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any
other man. He was given the strength to crush boulders. He asked for the worlds
fastest sports car and a ferrari appeared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter
than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see whats in the fridge and go to bed. Married women
come home, see whats in bed and go to the fridge.
Whats the fastest way to a man' s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and goodatlosing?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
When would you want a man' s company?
When he owns it.
What are a woman' s four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom,
and a Jackass to pay for It all
How do you get a man to do s?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Why are blonde Cokes so short?
So men can remember them.
A woman is in a terrible accident, and she needs to receive a brain transplant. The
doctor tells her, "WWII, a man' s brain costs dollars and a woman' s costs , 000."
She is extremely offended and asks why. The doctor smiles and says, "That' s not
sexism, it' s standard pricing procedure. We have to mark the women' s brains down
because they' been used."
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don' t talk.
What' s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A dog only takes a couple of months to train
What do you call a man with half a brain?
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a and the other is a fish.
A woman of " thinks of having children. What does a man of " think of?
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can' t stand criticism.
Why do inks lay on art:
To keep them rom grazing.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a basis with the one who makes all their
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can' t mow the lawn.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the ‘N out of you.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach every time they see a bikini.
Why do doctors slap babies’ butts right after they' re born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
What do call a handcuffed man?
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl,
Men are proof of reincarnation.
You can' t get that dumb in iust one lifetime.
Wife: "l won the lottery Five million dollars. packing!"
Husband "That' s grea What should I pack?"
Wife: "Whatever you ant, just be out of the house by the time I get there"
How does a woman know the man is cheating on her?
He starts bathing twice a week.
What' s the one thing that keeps most men out of college?
Whats the quickest way to lose in pounds of ugly fat?
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
It had a penis AND a brain!
What' s the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don' t know, I' never seen either one,