Funny Quotes. I LOVE CASSY<br /> <br /> My favorite Rodney Dangerfield quotes, I wanted to share them with all of you. If you have any other ones le
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Funny Quotes

<br />
My favorite Rodney Dangerfield quotes, I wanted to share them with all of you. If you have any other ones leave a comment with it.<br />
Credit for the idea goes to my buddy cameronchase and his post:

Best Quotes by .
Rodney ,
Comedian/ Actor
umwut jg yum
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over,
there' s nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."
l came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in
some cement and felt another hand."
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a
toastbeard a radio."
l have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats
l looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."
l remembering time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece
of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
l told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a
psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing
a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke
Tm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don' t know if
I' m coming or going."
it wasn' t for I' d have no sex life at all."
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked
me as a friend."
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a
second opinion. He said ookay, you' re ugly too.' "
My uncle' s dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in
the electric chair."
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always
found them."
l tell ya, I' m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker, I dropped my
pants... she dropped her price."
I told my psychiatrist that I was suicidal. I have to pay in
advance, now..."
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Favorited: 213
Submitted: 04/23/2010
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User avatar #45 - Happiness (04/24/2010) [-]
Depressing yet funny jokes.... my mind has been ******
#52 - anonymous (04/24/2010) [-]
thumbs up if you read in his voice!!! haha
User avatar #37 - patriotic canadian (04/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
"i asked my dad if i could go to the zoo, he said they would call if they wanted me"

one of my favorite dangerfield quotes :D
User avatar #41 - TopazJack (04/24/2010) [-]
I tell ya, I drink too much. I went to the doctor and took a urine test, there was an olive in it.
User avatar #6 - jessmcboss (04/23/2010) [-]
i read it all in his voice
#20 - anonymous (04/23/2010) [-]
"Your going down!"
Rodney: "Oh really, on who?"
#55 - anonymous (04/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Wait....wouldnt she UP the price??
User avatar #50 - DjRook (04/24/2010) [-]
Damn thats pretty kickass! there's funny in funnyjunk now!
#3 - anonymous (04/23/2010) [-]
rip rodney you were the best!
User avatar #1 - cameronchase (04/23/2010) [-]
Haha. Rodney Dangerfield FTW! lol.
User avatar #49 - imjustapostman (04/24/2010) [-]
@ the last one, if you were ugly or had a small dick wouldn't the hooker want to higher the price?
User avatar #48 - ZombieSmile (04/24/2010) [-]
Dude these are awesome! You've put the funny in FunnyJunk!
User avatar #11 - gazoogo (04/23/2010) [+] (1 reply)
haha i read it in his voice
User avatar #8 - lukeekul (04/23/2010) [-]
i lol'd at the meaning of the first one
#38 - anonymous (04/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
tags: funny quotes by a --- funny squirrel?!?
User avatar #33 - AlreadyExists (04/24/2010) [+] (4 replies)
"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll work for one"

"My computer once beat me in chess, but I beat it in kickboxing."

"War doesn't decide who's right, it shows who's left."
User avatar #13 - Grobbo (04/23/2010) [-]
Epic Quotes!
Actually funny
User avatar #57 - bdevils (04/24/2010) [-]
may he rest in peace
User avatar #9 - AnObeseCat (04/23/2010) [-]
LOL made my day
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