What about satanists? You know................ the ones that aren't in the 5th grade.

But they don't actually believe in Satan

Satanists don't believe in Satan?

LaVeyan Satanists do not (it's the most common, modern version of satanism). They simply see him as a symbol of human nature and a myth. Satanists worship themselves as their own god.

That actually sounds pretty nice.

It's actually a pretty cool philosophy. Religious people people find it offensive because it's anti-religious but it basically focuses on the human nature. How we guide ourselves, our creativity, passion, desire, not a deity. It also advocates to indulge in your natural wants, not fight them.

Sounds like the religion I've been practicing all my life - Notgiveafuckism ,except with a shorter name.

Because he is a fallen angel, he has no hope for redemption.

Can't redeem someone who doesn't exist.

And just like that everyone was offended.

Also pretty sure God mentioned something along the lines of everyone can be saved. Seems a little bit backwards, as Satan was maybe directly responsible for 10 deaths in the Bible overall.

Before I offer a rebuttal, I must ask that you site a specific verse(s).

Some guy went through and counted it, but has not linked it to verses. Alternatively, I could list every single instance where God had directly went in to murder his creations, and many other unsavoury acts on his behalf.

In an argument, it isn't your opponent's job to prove you wrong. It's their job to prove themselves right.
And the same goes for you.
Now you're introducing a mechanism into the argument that you yourself have yet to use, holding your opponent to a standard you don't apply to yourself. That is unfair.
So, you site your verses as evidence for your claim that he has no hope for redemption.
I'll wait.

In order to be saved, there must be a change of heart. The fallen angel must turn back to God. It is said,

Psalm 73:23 "The pride of them that hate Thee, ascendeth continually"; and this is understood of the demons. Therefore they remain ever obstinate in their malice.

Because those fallen angels will forever remain against God and humanity, they have no hope for redemption.

What translation are you using?

In any case, there is no evidence suggesting that the devil is redeemable. It's just a nice thought postulated by some people. The idea that Christians claiming righteousness and goodness so willingly damn Satan without a second thought.
Some people are documented as having prayed for Satan's repentance, but they were few and it was never accepted by any authority.
Yet there also doesn't seem to be much to say about him being irredeemable.
The story of "Satan" in the bible is disjointed and incomplete. Large chunks of his and God's or Jesus' transactions aren't covered. Which is understandable, I suppose.
The closest we have is that in interpreting the Revelations, some sects of Christianity believe that when Armageddon occurs, Satan and his followers will be destroyed permanently.