I almost died tonight

i fucking hate that shit!
i had one of those fuckers on the back of my door when i closed it.
smacked the shit out of it with a wooden plank.

also, similar story.
few nights ago, laying in bed. left bicep is a little itchy.move my arm.feel it again.
all the lights are off so i use my phone light and look at my arm.
fucking big brown spider.
flip shit, jump up, turn light on, bust out plank, kill that fucker.

I have a story kinda like this
> fapping one lonely night
> feel itch on back
> scratch that shit
> almost done fapping
> feel itch again but lower
> scratch that nigga
> finish fapping and get ready to shower
> forget towel and no ones in the house
> trying to find one while nude
> don't notice the blinds are open and crystal clear windows to neighbors house
> feel that damn itch again but near my ass
> look in mirror
> BIG ASS FUCKING SPIDER CHILLING ABOVE MY ASS
> flip shit trying to get that bitch off
> hit lamp, picture frame, vase
> see neighbors looking in disgust
> spider is gone
> calmly walk back to shower
> get done and look at floor where I had a battle with the fucker
> the spider splattered all over the floor
> laugh
My neighbors never liked me anyway.

Isn't that a Silverfish? they're harmless from what I know, there all over my area. Woke up with one on my arm and freaked though. Thumb for you.

Holy crap guys, calm the fuck down!

First off, that's not a silverfish. A silverfish is the creature on the left. They're usually about an inch long at most and are often found in old books nomming on the pages.

The creature on the right (which is in the OC) is a house centipede. This little guys actually are GOOD to have in the house. They nom on spiders, silverfish, cockroaches, ants, and so forth. They're not often seen out in the open unless they're hunting for prey. Else, they're usually hidden in the shadows. Also? They usually don't bite, because they usually can't penetrate human skin. In the cases when they do (and you'd have to literally PUSH THE DAMN THING AGAINST YOUR SKIN), it's usually no worse than a bee sting.

TL;DR: Calm the fuck down. House Centipedes are not only good, they're fairly harmless if you leave them alone.

You lost a glorious opportunity to add "the game" on that text....

>be chopping wood for my grandparents
>feel a little brush on my leg
>tell myself it's just a leaf or something
>feel another brush higher up on my leg
>decide to actually look
>it's one of those motherfuckers
>immediately take all of my clothes off
>run into my grandparents house completely naked
>jump into the shower
>grandma comes outside to check on me while I'm in the shower
>sees my clothes on the ground and me nowhere to be found
>calls the police
>they arrive and find me in the kitchen
>they completely understood and we laughed it off

That moment when your pooping, and one of those little dickheads come scuttling out from under your feet.
So you akwardly start flailing on the toilet like a roaring thunder cunt, because you cant move due to your excrement-covered bottom.

My first OC and it's front page?? Thank you so much :D I love you all!!!

....As long as you aren't that creepy fucker that crawled over my foot

Did anyone else read the entire slue of curse words at the end?

Made me raise my feet off the floor..........

Have any of you guys experience the horror of waking up and somehow some way a praying fucking mantis is right there in front of you? At the time i was about 11 and We were at vacation in puerto rico and I spent the first night on a mattress on the floor at my uncle's relatives house. Well we found a pray mantis earlier and we kept it in a box away from adults, so they had no idea. I dont consider it a box really, it was just a piece of folded cardboard -the "wall" of the box (for the pray mantis's point of view) was barley taller then the lil fucker , and so it came out (there was also a opening that it could of got out of, but we tried to cover it before hand , dont know if thats how the mantis came out) . So i wake up ready to go, put on my glasses and then bam
this is what i see
<--------------
Just staring at me, and i thought it wanted to eat my head off because i had saw what a female does to the male mantis after they mate.
i still have chills to this day...ugh....
What did i learn: DAMN! nature - you scary!

I read allllll of the rant on the last picture. God dammit


btw I lost it at "I'll shit bricks if it fucking flies."

you just made a huge deposit

I saw one of those fuckers crawling on my carpet once.
mfw

oh hell no

There has been a recent increase in good OC lately. You kick ass my friend

Saw one of those on the wall while I was playing Mass Effect 3. Nearly threw my couch at the fucker..

And my feet go UP.


AND THEY STAY THERE

You get house centipedes in the states? We get these fuckers in the uk