How to lie. . Lie to me right now. Okay, I have a spaceship. What kind of fuel powers your spaceship? Okay, I don' t have a spaceship. No! Stand your ground! If How to lie Lie me right now Okay I have a spaceship What kind of fuel powers your spaceship? don' t No! Stand ground! If
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How to lie

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Lie to me right now.
Okay, I have a spaceship.
What kind of fuel powers your spaceship?
Okay, I don' t have a spaceship.
No! Stand your ground! If someone questions you, distract
them from the original lie with more lies.
Here, let me demonstrate.
I own a pony.
Ask me a question.
Okay, what color is your pony?
Well, when I First got Dandelion, she was a deep, chestnut
brown, but, sadly, her stable is located near a chemical
plant, which contaminated the drinking water.
So over time, she' s turned a sickly, color
and there' s nothing that the vet can do to Fix her.
My God! I' m... That' s horrible.
Is Dandelion going to be okay?
Okay. All right. Huh, you are good!
Dandelion: not even sick, is she?
...
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Views: 71698 Submitted: 06/10/2012
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#20 - flappypenguin
Reply +59 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
#24 to #20 - nerdfighterone
Reply -107 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
These ****** newfags downthumbing you. I'll fix that

+1
User avatar #38 to #24 - kanaka
Reply +69 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Calls people newfag


Signed up yesterday.




You are a ******* disgrace.
User avatar #96 to #38 - profarnsworth
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
guise what if he...... guise what if he was browsing fj for years as anon but never got an account. guise what if he has been here since fj what white or yellow or green.

The reason i say this is because i've called multiple people out about how old their accounts are and its always the same reply "Hurr Durr **** you i've been here for years, ever since fj was white i just never made an account. I remember (insert generic video/game/pic that anyone who browses fj long enough hears about) from the first days of fj so **** you................................... I hate those ******* people
User avatar #99 to #96 - kanaka
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
It's not like I was stating things I remember. And yes, I was anon until about this time last year, but I don't brag about it.
User avatar #102 to #99 - profarnsworth
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
bro i wasn't talking about you i was talking about nerdfighterone and what most people say when you call them out about having a new account and calling people newfags and what not.
User avatar #118 to #102 - kanaka
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Oh, ok. I don't mind either way, really. But you do speak the truth.
User avatar #166 to #38 - yodasoda
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Calls people newfag


Says down thumbed
User avatar #218 to #38 - NinjaPlease
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
And already banned...
User avatar #41 to #24 - voltkills
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
says the ******* newfag >.>
User avatar #201 to #41 - cliffbriscoe
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
you signed up a week ago faggot
User avatar #253 to #201 - voltkills
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
voltkill old accout, deleted it after a bet about rolling ponys >.>
#230 to #20 - anon id: cee4cce3
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
What if someone hasn't seen it? :OOOO Even if i has seen it before, I still laughed. I don't think you should give OP credz for making it, but give him credz for sharing it. Even if you are a retarded asshole douchebag, you don't have to be a faggot.
What if someone hasn't seen it? :OOOO Even if i has seen it before, I still laughed. I don't think you should give OP credz for making it, but give him credz for sharing it. Even if you are a retarded asshole douchebag, you don't have to be a faggot.
#264 to #230 - flappypenguin
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Good going, OP! You made me laugh! Thanks!
Good going, OP! You made me laugh! Thanks!
#30 to #20 - moggycore
Reply +78 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
#233 to #30 - diggytits
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
#255 to #233 - moggycore
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Here, take this, bigger version
#339 to #255 - jakekel
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
This pleases me.
This pleases me.
#346 to #339 - moggycore
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Your picture pleases me
#354 to #346 - jakekel
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
I love seeing my content in comments, HEY maybe it will become a new meme, right guise?
#234 to #30 - pinta **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #156 - lolfire
Reply +60 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Tips for lying;

Try to maintain eye contact around 2/3rd of the time
If you are going to gesture with your hands while lying, make sure they are always in the "palm up" position
Convince yourself that what you're saying is the truth, it stops minor eye twitches that could give you away
Make sure your feet are pointed towards whoever you are lying to
Keep within the personal zone (2-3 meters of the person)
Do Not reach towards your face with your hand, not even to scratch your nose or fix your hair.
When not maintaining eye contact, keep forming a triangle between the two eyes and the forehead of the person you are lying to
Do not keep a monotone voice, raise and lower your pitch while talking

Those should help :)
User avatar #168 to #156 - nevrit
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Another tip on lying, don't do it! Why? Because if you never lie, noone will question you when you actually do.
User avatar #182 to #168 - lolfire
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Sometimes you must lie for the greater good.
History has some pretty clear examples.
#407 to #182 - luluwho
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #183 to #182 - nevrit
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Very true as well, sometimes you don't have the time to make everyone understand the way things are and what must be done, sometimes a lie is the worst thing to do, but the only thing you can do.
#406 to #156 - luluwho
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#179 to #156 - mysterykid
+1 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #160 to #156 - joshlol
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Eye contact probably won't work in your favour if you're lying to someone that understands the eye accessing cues.
User avatar #161 to #160 - lolfire
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Oh no, it won't work if the other person knows the trick behind pupil dilation and the Superior Levator Palpebrae twitch.

These hints are meant for use on people who don't know body language and can't locate and separate body actions.
User avatar #163 to #161 - joshlol
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
Aye, and they're pretty decent tactics!
#191 to #156 - lfc
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
oh and one more thing, lolfire, try not to twitch like a bitch. I guess Josh Peck had it coming, the poor guy
#348 - ballzach
Reply +35 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
mfw not a feel post
#157 - Churchandtex
Reply +30 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
#145 - notalfewtag
Reply +30 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
#37 - tidex
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
#154 - Deception
Reply +21 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
**Deception rolled a random image posted in comment #32 at The ultimate showdown ** how i lie
#365 to #154 - esimmij
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
have to learn this for my biology exam which im going to fail
#162 to #154 - dubickimus
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
User avatar #17 - jasonvgrace
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
I'm not gay... ... ...and I'm not even sure if it's biologically possible...but I want his babies
User avatar #76 to #17 - glasgowrangers
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
You're not sure if it's biologically possible?

#22 to #17 - fuckyourflamingos
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
The term is harrisexual, as in Neil Patrick Harrisexual
#11 - blazepheonix
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
What you did there ....I see it.
#59 - curvele
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
how is the show called?
User avatar #62 to #59 - thecakeislegit
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
How I Met Your Mother
#65 to #62 - curvele
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
thx
User avatar #64 to #59 - marking
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
WHAT!? HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW THE NAME OF THIS GLORIOUS SHOW!! (CASPLOCK **** YEAH) The name of the show is How I Met Your Mother. Go watch it now!
User avatar #152 to #64 - teoferrazzi
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
it's not even that ******* good a show.
#61 to #59 - jewrape **User deleted account**
+16 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #119 to #61 - teoferrazzi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
I dont get it
#149 to #119 - teoferrazzi
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#141 to #119 - jewrape **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #151 to #141 - teoferrazzi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
ah i see. busting his balls for his grammar.
although im not even sure 'how' is wrong used like that..
#66 to #61 - anon id: 17695bd6
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
#63 to #61 - xerium
Reply -20 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
"how I met your mother" stupid
#67 to #63 - alwayspne
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
You'll understand his comment eventually.
#72 to #67 - xerium
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
ow like that
#73 to #67 - xerium
Reply -7 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]
right in the childhood
#83 to #73 - jewrape **User deleted account**
+2 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#68 to #63 - youtryme
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(06/11/2012) [-]