f. .thaty TALKING.
This is the most important rule of urinal etiquette.
There is no calling allowed. "'ER, f. ibo Exceptions. And MG . htat?
in Always Leave A Buffer Urinal.
Unless ft is absolutely necessary. do an empty urinal that is located
directly next to an occupied urinal. Seriously, inthere are ' empty urinals. take the
one that is furthest away.
Why would you want " publicly park your penis right next to somebody else '
3. tooth Straight Ahead!’
Count the tiles. read the advertising, mentally calculate your tah. thinh of an ice
breaker for the girl you' re not even going to try endlich up. m, the same mental
exercises you do to ejaculation. I don' t care what you do..... lust
loot Straight Ahead. Not Up. Not Do . and NEVER anywhere around... Straight
You don' t waitpeople getting the wrong idea.
it Posture and Position Are Very Important
Stand up straight. Don' t stand too far hath from the urinal. And don' t lean back
either. Nobody wants to see a side view effron holding your hose.
Get in close and get down to business
5, Don' t Waste Time
Get In. Get Gut. Especially inthere is a line unpeople waiting to use the urinal.
Don' t stand there and do your manscaping. Over, Done, Gone,
ti, Never Make Direct Eye Contact
Hating direct eye contact with another man while he' s holding his meat s word will
either get you a severe beatdown or unwanted sexual advances.
Nothing good can come out of direct eye contact. Don' t Do It EVEN.
I blahing Sounds is . acceptable.
Ho Horns. No Sighs. Aio Grunts. Ho satisfying sounds . Just step in
front of the pisser, and get to the point. " you are passing kidney stones, then an
exception can he made. But ifyou are holding your trouser snake in your hand,
while standing directly next to another man, you should NEVER male any bodily
It El. -erybody Farts. Nobody Acknowledges Farts.
If you happen to fart during urination. do not fool around to see heard
ft, We did and we hnow ft was you. Hie " didn' t happen and go about
your business, Do down yogapants to see ifyou shamed yourself“
I Flush it. Only fl trou' re Brave.
Flushing is necessary. Mainly because nobody wants to touch a
handle that other people touch directly after they were holding their junk.
Ho we ver, if there is a strong aroma of urine or a dark shade blorange.
flushing may he a necessity. o,, the other hand. washing your hands is an
ABSOLUTE necessity. Don' t he lazy, Spend 30 seconds to sanitize your hands.
Because we all touch the same door handle on the way out.
IO. Shake It, Don' t Spray It
when you shake it off, pay attention to what you are doing! You' re not trying to
shake a hogger end of your dick It' s at really bad idea to shake wildly, due
to the mystery of where " will land. Nobody wants to see you walk back from the
bathroom with pee tracks on yogapants and shirt. Shale with care, especially if
the person in the next urinal is wearing a brand new pair of who Hyperfang-
Bottom remember to shake with care. I shakes mar or ft look hie you' re
isulting the men' s room and that' ll get you a heat down you' ll never forget.
ll, No Cell Phones Allowed.
We ha we established that tailing to other patrons in a bathroom is never allowed.
EVER! This applies to you dumbasses on cellphones too. If it rings, '
rrw Phone conversations ruin the whole male urinal experience, for you. and
else around you. ofthe main reasons men have for the bathroom
is to get away from the noise. To get away from the constant chicken , and
spend a few moments offence with our true best frien d. Nobody wants to hear
your mindless drunk haggling to your mother about how your date is going.
3 Shakes; Max