Funny Craigslist Post. Got this in one of those chain emails and thought I'd share. Sorry if repost. You may have to also enlarge it in order to read it. AN ACT
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Funny Craigslist Post

Got this in one of those chain emails and thought I'd share. Sorry if repost. You may have to also enlarge it in order to read it

AN ACTUAL CRAIG' S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand Over, shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend' s purse and earrings. I
can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I' d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn' t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I
drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a
reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my gnd tour as a Combat Marine in
Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 "-115 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we
had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating
weapon when pointed at your head ... isn' t it?!
I know it probably wasn' t fun walking back to wherever you' d come from with crap in your pants. I' m sure it
was even worse walking since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That
prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what
you' d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go' s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That
made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver' s side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA' s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc].
aln a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you .... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more
appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and
perhaps reconsider, the career path you' ye chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so
lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper ,
Alex
...
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Views: 2987
Favorited: 3
Submitted: 05/29/2012
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