Introduce his friends to mine and you should be good for the rest of your life pal.
pic related its my friend

I feel so sorry for you bro... but really you should make a test to see if it really is your kid, chances are it isn't

Push her down the stairs to eliminate the baby. Set his house on fire to eliminiate him. Be a man and fucking murder them all.

First, you're going to need a long, heated up needle. It doesn't matter where you get one or how you get it, just get one and heat the fuck out of it. Second, you find that bitch when she's sleeping and puncture her chest, specifically where her lungs are. She won't feel shit. make sure to cover that fucker up or else the blood will seep through. When she wakes up, she will have the worst fucking case of the whooping cough ever. The coughs will make that bitch exiled from her whore community. She will approach you after she is exiled seeking comfort. Make sure to wear a huge ass trench coat with a Triple Wide Scoop Neck Sweater. She will tell you that her whooping cough has made her the most unwanted person in your town. You tell her everything will be alright. You punch her in the face and curb stomp the fuck out of her. She will ask you why you are doing all this. You don't answer. You proceed to take off your trench coat slowly. you ask her quietly.
"Is your whooping cough contagious?"

Hopefully you either got the dude arrested or sued his ass for assault

fuck that bitch up. hell, fuck both those bitches up.

hope this makes your day better