My Next Life
by Woody Allen
in my next life I want to live backwards.
Vou start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old people' s home
feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy,
go collect your pension, and then when
you start work, you get a gold watch
F" . and a party on your first day.
Alit You work for 40 years until you' re young
enough to enjoy your retirement.
l You party, drink alcohol. and are
H generally promiscuous, then you
are ready for high school.
You then go to primary school,
you become a laid, you play.
Von harm no responsibilities,
you become a baby until you
are born. And then you spend
your last it months floating in
luxurious spa like conditions with
central heating and room service
on tap, larger quarters every day
and then, Voila!
You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case.