worlds shortest joke

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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#99 to #97 - Trollzz (04/08/2012) [-]

Why did little suzzie fall off the swing?...

Because I punched her in the fucking face

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#100 to #99 - funnyjunktitan (04/08/2012) [-]

why did the little boy drop his ice cream

because he got hit by a truck

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#103 to #100 - Trollzz (04/08/2012) [-]

What did the little boy with no arms and legs, get for christmas?

Cancer

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#118 to #103 - izzalitious (04/09/2012) [-]

A man comes into a bar....no wait it was a horse

A man comes into a horse....

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#141 to #118 - chezpuf (04/09/2012) [-]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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#146 to #141 - littlegreenmidgets (04/09/2012) [-]

so stephan hawkings walks into a bar...

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#193 to #146 - watuppig (04/09/2012) [-]

a mouse and a owl are in a tree when they see the farmer bringing a pig into the bedroom. The owl turns to the mouse and eats him because owls are naturally predators of mice

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#194 to #193 - sprayme (04/09/2012) [-]

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends how fast I can throw them.

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#197 to #194 - mastachggf (04/09/2012) [-]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

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#200 to #197 - sprayme (04/09/2012) [-]

How did the elephant die?

Who cares, it's dead!

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#224 to #200 - thesilverpanther **User deleted account** (04/09/2012) [-]

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

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#225 to #224 - thesilverpanther **User deleted account** (04/09/2012) [-]

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle?

Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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#228 to #103 - cshp (04/09/2012) [-]

What did he get for his birthday?

Nothing, he didn't live that long

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#170 to #72 - alexandereissa (04/09/2012) [-]

How do you make a plumber cry?

Kill his family.

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#237 to #1 - xXxgothxlovexXx (04/09/2012) [-]

How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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#211 to #1 - mahnamesjakers (04/09/2012) [-]

How do you knock a clown off a swing?

Hit him with an axe

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#119 to #1 - garyleneville (04/09/2012) [-]

I like Dwarf Shortage.

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#160 to #119 - fernand (04/09/2012) [-]

Congratcha-welldone

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#238 to #1 - xXxgothxlovexXx (04/09/2012) [-]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

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#111 - anttihh (04/08/2012) [+] (2 replies)

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#112 to #111 - eliisfresh **User deleted account** (04/08/2012) [-]

I did this once, then i got -75 thumbs. I hope the same doesn't happen to you. T_T

0

#139 to #111 - brosafterhoes **User deleted account** has deleted their comment. [-]

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#186 - iudicoletum **User deleted account** (04/09/2012) [+] (4 replies)

False!
Pussy

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#187 to #186 - thatoldhorse ONLINE (04/09/2012) [-]

i dont get it

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#189 to #187 - iudicoletum **User deleted account** (04/09/2012) [-]

Exactly

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#190 to #189 - thatoldhorse ONLINE (04/09/2012) [-]

fuck...i see what you did there

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#220 to #190 - N. Korean citizen (04/09/2012) [-]

You fags set this up

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#210 - twatmissile (04/09/2012) [+] (3 replies)

the world's shortest joke:
9gag

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#214 to #210 - imflawless (04/09/2012) [-]

False 9gag is not funny.

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#233 to #214 - sittingwhale (04/09/2012) [-]

thumb for both of you xD

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#245 to #214 - weapsycho (04/09/2012) [-]

but...nobody said it was funny joke.

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#46 - mlpmeh (04/08/2012) [+] (17 replies)

i love Dwight.

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#47 to #46 - duvallwhitey (04/08/2012) [-]

oh comon, shes gotta count as a pony

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#55 to #47 - penalcode (04/08/2012) [-]

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#56 to #55 - duvallwhitey (04/08/2012) [-]

errybody know you can't kill Pinky Pie

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#57 to #56 - penalcode (04/08/2012) [-]

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#59 to #57 - duvallwhitey (04/08/2012) [-]

Do it, you won't
Why so much hate bro?

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#75 to #59 - mattey **User deleted account** (04/08/2012) [-]

this warrants some music.

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#60 to #57 - mlpmeh (04/08/2012) [-]

dont tell me what to do.

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#70 to #60 - bronycurious (04/08/2012) [-]

stop. people like you are the reason people hate all bronies.

brony here

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#78 to #70 - duvallwhitey (04/08/2012) [-]

I was minding my own bidness with the other gentleman up there when a hater came along and had to go out of his way to state a lame opinion.
I understand what you are saying tho.

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#79 to #78 - duvallwhitey (04/08/2012) [-]

mlpmeh

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#71 to #70 - mlpmeh (04/08/2012) [-]

not posting pony for no reason.
original comment was related to content so you stop

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#68 to #55 - steelplatypus (04/08/2012) [-]

You're gonna have to do better than that man

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#58 to #55 - turretbuddy (04/08/2012) [-]

Agreed.

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#49 to #46 - mattey **User deleted account** (04/08/2012) [-]

yes she is a Pegasus but twilight is a Unicorn. and they still call her a pony in the show so sorry. all of them counts as pony's.

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#51 to #49 - mlpmeh (04/08/2012) [-]

WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!!

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#80 to #46 - commontroll (04/08/2012) [-]

False. There are pegasi ponies, earth ponies, and unicorn ponies. They're all ponies due to their size.

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#176 - lordherpderp (04/09/2012) [-]

two irishmen walk out of a bar...

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#166 - bmansoccer (04/09/2012) [-]

so...

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#142 - Spectricity (04/09/2012) [+] (5 replies)

Wanna hear the world's shortest horror story?

The last man on Earth sat alone in his room.
There was a knock on the door.

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#154 to #142 - avagantamos (04/09/2012) [-]

It was a woman.

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#171 to #154 - meganinja (04/09/2012) [-]

unless your room was connected to the kitchen that's still a horror story.

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#217 to #142 - takedatsociety (04/09/2012) [-]

FALSE: Santorum 2012

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#175 - bryceka (04/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)

Women's rights.

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#178 to #175 - therealsuperguy (04/09/2012) [-]

Damn, you beat me to it ha

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#150 - MrBigglesworth (04/09/2012) [+] (3 replies)

So a seal walks into a club..

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#173 to #150 - messerauditore (04/09/2012) [-]

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#158 to #150 - kikkilinu (04/09/2012) [-]

So, an Irishman walks out of a pub.

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#164 to #158 - anotherponyaccount (04/09/2012) [-]

so this Australian was upright

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#209 - zeldafaggot (04/09/2012) [+] (5 replies)

false.

25.

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#229 to #209 - legendofzeldafreak (04/09/2012) [-]

A fellow Zelda fan I see.

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#255 to #229 - goochmckooch (04/09/2012) [-]

why is ganondorf fist bumping zelda?

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#256 to #255 - legendofzeldafreak (04/09/2012) [-]

Actually, if you go by the triforce, it would be Link (triforce of courage is lower right) brofisting Ganondorf (triforce of power is top), not Zelda (triforce of wisdom is lower left). I just found this and saved it. Whoever made it is an idiot for making Zelda with the Triforce of Power.

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#259 to #256 - goochmckooch (04/09/2012) [-]

ment to put this with last comment.

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#258 to #256 - goochmckooch (04/09/2012) [-]

oops my bad, i couldnt member who was who i just member that ganondorf is triforce of power at the top beacause i hale to him. you should shoop it so its link and zelda.

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#184 - Orangepeel (04/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)

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#216 to #184 - mammothcakes (04/09/2012) [-]

I'll just leave this here

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#172 - stardustdragonlord (04/09/2012) [-]

Two drums and a cymbal fall out of a truck.

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#131 - berzerkmode **User deleted account** (04/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)

Shortest Joke: WNBA

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#134 to #131 - turtlewithashotgun (04/09/2012) [-]

Whale not being assholes.
Fucking whales.

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#198 - N. Korean citizen (04/09/2012) [+] (7 replies)

This image was flagged 04/27/2012

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#227 to #198 - bossauce (04/09/2012) [-]

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#226 to #198 - N. Korean citizen (04/09/2012) [-]

That is......fantastic.....

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#183 - bulldozah (04/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)

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#188 to #183 - watuppig (04/09/2012) [-]

love that video

"what is the first door you open when taking a woman out?"
"the trunk"
*brofist

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#67 - goldzeoranger **User deleted account** (04/08/2012) [+] (1 reply)

worlds shortest joke : Skrillex

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#69 to #67 - shrike (04/08/2012) [-]

World's shortest joke: OP

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#19 - beffen (04/08/2012) [-]

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#223 - Brodyjguy (04/09/2012) [-]

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#195 - nerdierguy (04/09/2012) [-]

A sober Irishman.

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worlds shortest joke

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