best friends ever

MFW my name is Jerry

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me after I was married." The judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up next Thursday.

The other day I said to my psychiatrist, "You know, Doc, Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me forever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." The doctor said, "Look, mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend, so go get yourself a dog."

I'd rename it Marco

Id name my dog grandpa, that way I could be all like "grandpa got out again",, "grandpa shit on the floor again", "grandpa got the neighbors poodle pregnant", "caught grandpa eating his shit again", or "had to put grandpa down last night"

My overweight uncle has a dog named "Moo," she is always hanging around the block and I hear him yelling Moo in the middle of the street almost everyday.

Mfw

mfw

Name the dog "syndrome"...then tell it to get down

Fuck Yahtzee, I wouldve named the dog Dickbutt

Our cat's named Trouble, and every night I have to go out looking for him.

Would've been better if the dogs name was sex...

> rename dog "nigger"
> owner comes back to pick up dog after semester
> owner calls dog my old name
> tell owner dog's new name is "nigger"
> dog runs out of house, owner is forced to run around neighborhood yelling "nigger"
> ????
> GENIUS
owners face when you tell him dog's new name

Yahtzee you say?

why not name it sparta instead?

Well atleast be glad that they didn't rename it Nigger.
Imagine OP running down the street, all like " WHERE'S MY NIGGER?"

I'm okay with this.