oh god why

I guess she got caught... Red handed

as a man, this is a frequent problem for me

>I suffer of hematophobia
>Doing stuff in the dark with gf
>Dive in to give oral like baus
>Tastes weird, gonna turn on the lights
>Go batshit insane as i realize my face covered in blood
>Run around like a bitch
>Trip over, bang my head in the wall, pass out
>Wake up, seeing mother stare into my eyes, next to my fucking embarrassed gf
>Realize face still covered in blood
>Fuck my life

i can finally use this!!!

Dont you just hate when you forget you have ketchup in your vagina :/

One of my friends had a worse problem that ended up looking like that. He was getting busy with the missus, and when she "assisted" him, her nail caught something. It's hard to describe, but you guys should know what I mean. It's the fleshy part on the underside of the penis, sort of elastic, runs down the middle underneath. Yeah, she snapped that with her nail. I guess it was the adrenaline and the darkness, but neither of them noticed, and when he got around to actually getting on with it, he thought something was wrong. Lights turn on and bam, blood EVERYWHERE. He still has trouble urinating.

>MFW I heard this story

This has happened to me.

She should probably get to the hospital to stitch up that big cut!

Coincidence?



I THINK NOT!

Holy Period Batman!

I have had enough of these menstruation jokes on this site. Period.

the seas are rough today, capt'n