Skyrim Sex. Are they serious?!. What is Skyrim? In If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a fore game the
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Skyrim Sex

Are they ******* serious?!

Tags: game | the
What is Skyrim? In
If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters
should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like WEE, players Tags:
are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting,
violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but
bombarded with = under tones of fecal fornication.
In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist, who has been
caught plotting to destroy the golden empire by using dragons. Before the player gets to take control
of his avatar, they are asked to create a character, which is purely the Werll' s way of teaching out kids
that and gender dhan g' ones self is hm and normal. thee the player has decided if they
want to be a female wood fairy or an black ogre from they get to take control of their hell
spawned. fickity ous demon.
itit or g, Falt en.‘
Right off the bat, the gay supporting software compan shows the player images of
decapitate ms and after the third of forth head chopping, a new amatic dragon appears and sets the
player free from rightous punishment. Now that the player is free, they will spend the next aoo hours
robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter
style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magi c.
Throughout the game, the player is exposed to full frontal violence and replay style death killing finish
moves. The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they ejaculate all
are the he er' .
The spells the player are taught are and are far more dangerous
than anything your child is watching on that Wizards at Waverly Place and Sabrina The Teenage
Witch. When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of , drail.
DNA juices at each other after a long my of fecal frag ass assassinations. This is subliminally
teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms P d produce
their taint tugging session.
thee they player has finish killin all the o in rim, his final battle is to
dragon with homosexual dragon egg. thee the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill
it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek
havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.
SEEM LINED: Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D - Dirty
o - Orifice
V - ‘violate on
A -Always
H - Hurts
K - Keep
I - Injecting
N - Nagant
How Would My Child Get Access to Skyrim?
If your child doesn' t have the money to buy this game, be sure they are spending countless hours
watching their asiatorrents download massive amounts of band widths to illegal obtain this demonic
ail of violent dra on om. Be sure to inspect all of their friend' s houses. Any one of the evil axis of
consoles" Fla Station 1 2 or Gamecube or Em So Live Gentic, in one of their
If you do learn that one of your children' s friends doesn' t have proper parents and allows them to play
on such vile machines, make sure your child knows that by playing with this friend will go agnst Cad
and would send his soul to the fire its of Hell.
mile THE
Howard Stem '
that your copy today! '.
What is This Gaming Teaching Kids
Skyriming g is a street term the gays use when talking about applying their tongues to
the outer rim part of another man' s sewer spout, while that man is . See the
gays have weird fetishes and are close to Satan. Satan to them and tells them news ways on how
to experience demonic orgasmic sin. Satan has recently taught our fecal firsting bandits that if you
han g each other upside down and let the blood rush to the head, the anal dumpster becomes more
sensitive to touch and we all know gays wake up and fall asleep just day dreaming about sticking
something up their own or someone else’ s sewer hole.
If you notice your son has become more light headed around the house, this is a definite warning that
he has been Hilario jobben g.
Dragon Fisting Dragon fistin g is a new way the gays enter each other' s mud goblets their
hands. The difference with dragon fisting, is they make sure to gow their nails very long and once
inserted into their low thatll counted friend, they make a tickling movement with their fingers and
sends their mud monkey buddy into a dem on infused enticement of g rage.
Make sure to inspect the length and smell of your children' s finger nails on a daily basis.
by Spear - The Icy Spear is the name of an actual weapon in the game of Skyrim, but on the gay
streets, it is where a freezes their meat banana with ice cubes and than for Emil infects their
partner' with their icy flesh spear.
If you notice that you never have ice cubes in your freeze, be sure that your son is freezing the anal
caverns of other men in the neighborhood.
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #14 - Awesomenessniss (02/24/2012) [+] (2 replies)
I almost flipped my **** , but then I saw "Christwire." It is apparently meaningless satire, thank God.
User avatar #15 to #14 - Awesomenessniss (02/25/2012) [-]
My apologies, *thank Talos.
#12 - thehansi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
#10 - mookiez (02/24/2012) [+] (1 reply)
This image has expired
I'm christian, and what the hell is this. People like this make us look so stupid, And that game was the best game ever. I don't remember butt ******* a dragon.
#20 - drawssassin (02/25/2012) [-]
reading this made me want to play skyrim
#19 - freespeech has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
#11 - steelcrasher (02/24/2012) [-]
The Fuq...
#7 - rulerofmuffins (02/24/2012) [-]
replace scott pilgrim with whoever wrote this article
#1 - dieforthecreed (02/24/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#32 - anonymousmember (02/25/2012) [-]
"sends their Mud Monkey Buddy into a demon-infused enticement of gay rage."   
"homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations."   
"ejaculate all over the player's CPU monitor."   
Best ones.
"sends their Mud Monkey Buddy into a demon-infused enticement of gay rage."
"homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations."
"ejaculate all over the player's CPU monitor."
Best ones.
#30 - mikeliterous (02/25/2012) [-]
< the guy who wrote it
User avatar #26 - possiblydominator (02/25/2012) [-]
http://christwire. org/2011/11/christwire-game-review-the-elder-scrolls-skyrim/ I found sause
#24 - ovencats **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#6 - malifaux (02/24/2012) [-]
You honestly can't tell that this is satire?
#25 - anonymous (02/25/2012) [-]
I want a link, I might be a catholic but this is ******* insane. And mainly I want to read their stuff because I plan on laughing my ass off.
#23 - anonymous (02/25/2012) [-]
Ugh, really old news. I read this when it first got published.
#9 - anonymous (02/24/2012) [-]
for the love of humanity sauce please, just for the epic trolling that could insue!!!!
#8 - zerotheimpaler (02/24/2012) [-]
that version sounds like a ton of fun!
User avatar #4 - ivandude (02/24/2012) [-]
There are so many things not underlined that should be... but who the **** would write this?! The only idiot i can think that would right such a piece of fiction and filled with sophisms is Jack ************* Thompson. Now i might be wrong about that but i still hate that prick.
#2 - anonymous (02/24/2012) [-]
I gotta tell you, just reading that gave me way more disturbing images than the game skyrim itself probably could...
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