MAGIKARP.. . QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD? GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT 71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WA
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MAGIKARP.

QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD?
GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR
AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT
71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WATER
90% OF LIFE IN THE WATER IS MAGIKARP
100% OF MAGIKARP' S BODY IS PURE PAIN
NO MATTER WHERE
You GO, YOU WILL
NOT BE SAFE.
Let' s give you some simple numbers so you
can comprehend Just how ****** you are,
20 base HP.
1 base attack
80 base speed.
If it' s raining, then its speed DOUBLES.
SWEET GANDHI' S TITS, THAT' S TERRIFYING
Well, guess what? We' re just getting warmed up. It' s
time to show you the deadly attacks Magikarp can use.
SPLASH
A Magikarp that lives for years can use this to LEAP OVER MOUNTAINS.
You can' t even walk over one without losing your breath.
Pictured: A pebble to a Magikarp.
TACKLE
That' s 10 kilograms of solid death being thrown right at your fat face.
FLAIL
If you can somehow get Magikarp to 1 HP, this move gets a base power
of 200. That sound was your bowels leaving your body in sheer terror.
BOUNCE
Because **** your grass types. As a bonus, Magikarp becomes even more
invincible than it nunnally is for one turn.
IF THAT' S SOMEHOW NOT ORGASMIC ENOUGH
FOR YOU, LOOK AT ITS SHINY FORM.
AAA»
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
2% italia%
I It I In
Every single word in that title is literal.
w HEY at
Put your pants back on, we' re not done yet.
SPEAKING OF ORGASMIC
Magikarp is in the DRAGON egg group. That
means that the following Pokemon are lining up
to have sex with it:
THIS IS IN ADDITION TO ANYTHING VAGUELY .
AND IT CREATES EVEN MORE MAGIKARP.
Here' s another terrifying stat for you, pussy
Now, I know what your self is thinking.
You' re right, it does have one terrible downside.
ITS EVOLUTION IS COMPLETE GARBAGE.
Not that " matters anyway. The B button was invented for a reason.
on '' MAGIKARP.
...
+5169
Views: 141310
Favorited: 1417
Submitted: 02/08/2012
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Comments(996):

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#136 - tkuja (02/08/2012) [+] (12 replies)
Oh ******* hell
#2 - tricher (02/08/2012) [+] (15 replies)
PIKACHU! Thunderbolt NOW!
PIKACHU! Thunderbolt NOW!
#3 to #2 - tricher (02/08/2012) [-]
<-------- Your Magikcarp
#72 - alostcause (02/08/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture

#400 - simfar (02/08/2012) [+] (1 reply)
like a baws
#122 - hockeykicksass (02/08/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#448 - ascian (02/08/2012) [+] (1 reply)
#314 - mathcow (02/08/2012) [+] (3 replies)
#88 - skwirl (02/08/2012) [+] (1 reply)
&gt; Starts to play Pokemon to get a Magikarp   
&gt; Gets Magikarp   
&gt; Goes to train Magikarp   
&gt; First battle   
&gt; Sudden realization 'What the 						****					 am I doing?'   
   
You sir, need to go into sales.   
&lt;- You in sales
> Starts to play Pokemon to get a Magikarp
> Gets Magikarp
> Goes to train Magikarp
> First battle
> Sudden realization 'What the **** am I doing?'

You sir, need to go into sales.
<- You in sales
+53
#128 - jmozziel **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#396 - proton (02/08/2012) [-]
Scumbag magikarp.
#134 - AwesomeAnonomous (02/08/2012) [-]
I just remember all those fishermen with their team full of Magikarps...

Hooooly ****
#219 - settantaventi (02/08/2012) [+] (3 replies)
This image has expired

+39
#462 - sevant **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#1076 - anotherunusableacc (02/09/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Comment Picture

#930 - blacksmokey (02/09/2012) [-]
Basically **** your pants when you encounter this in the water.
#144 - ryuuk ONLINE (02/08/2012) [+] (2 replies)
pic very related to this post.
#153 to #144 - jimdandy (02/08/2012) [-]
That's what happens if you press B in the middle of Magikarp evolving.
#366 - acvirtutis (02/08/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture

#317 - grimmwaters ONLINE (02/08/2012) [-]
And with this..   
I shall RULE THE WORLD!
And with this..
I shall RULE THE WORLD!
#1175 - severepwner ONLINE (02/11/2012) [-]
SO SO RELATED!
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