Bro, I know that feel :(
>Be 16, in junior year of high school
>Have female friend that I didn't really have much interest in before
>Suddenly a wild crush appears, start to like female friend
>Buy her tickets to concert she loves, ask her out, dreading the friendzone
>She says yes!
>I'm happy, she's happy, concert kids are roaring but I can't hear
>Start going out, steady relationship for 5 months
>One night she calls me, starts crying, won't tell me what's wrong
>Next day she shows up at my house, I shut door behind me and step onto porch
>She's crying again and says that even though we've been together awhile, it's can't do it anymore
>Says we need to break up, I ask "Why, baby?!"
>She shakes her head and tells me she can't say (Fuck women logic)
>She just asks that I accept it, and asks me to please just do her this favor
>I ask "What?" Angry and confused. I know she is asking me not to call her again
>She leans in close and whispers..
>"I need about tree fiddy"
> Well it's about this time I realize my girlfriend is an 8-story tall crustacean from the Paleozic era.
>That goddamn Loch Ness monster had tricked me again