Tard Stories 21 (22 in Desc.). Thanks again will continue making these from now on 22: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+22+Sorry+for+wait/DlpvDQy.. >In 5th Grade >Playing tag with friends >Tard joins in >Tard gets tagged >Stays silent for about a minute >Suddenly screams tard battlecry &gt Tell Me
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Tard Stories 21 (22 in Desc.)

Tags: Tell Me
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Submitted: 01/08/2012
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#60 - SpaceInvader (01/08/2012) [-]
>In 5th Grade
>Playing tag with friends
>Tard joins in
>Tard gets tagged
>Stays silent for about a minute
>Suddenly screams tard battlecry
>All the tards come at us
>Running for lives
>Army of tards screaming
>Get to dead end balcony
>Tards right behind us
>We jump off
>Get out of the way
>Tards all jump off
>Hail of tards in the sky
>Take cover as they hit the ground
>Friends and I quietly go back to class
>Never speak about tard war again

#9 - CakemanRPG (01/08/2012) [+] (5 replies)
I like these posts so I'm gonna retoast mine   
>10th grade   
>autistic kid named brian sat in the back of health class   
>Slurred his words in somewhat broken english   
>borderline illterate   
>He had a habit of doing ANYTHING you told him (groping girls, punching teachers, shrieking racial slurs in the middle of class)   
>this got him into a 			****		 load of fights (some of them are on youtube but most of them were taken down)   
>Big problem: He never got punished for all the 			****		 he did   
>Even bigger problem: He had NO TARD WRANGLER   
>His anger was extremely volitile but he had an odd sense of humor   
>i.e. he somehow obtained my cell number and texted me pictures of various 			*****		 he took for weeks   
>Final project due in Health and he was assigned the digestive system   
>we had to do it in presentations   
>He got up in front of the class and explained how poop was made
I like these posts so I'm gonna retoast mine
>10th grade
>autistic kid named brian sat in the back of health class
>Slurred his words in somewhat broken english
>borderline illterate
>He had a habit of doing ANYTHING you told him (groping girls, punching teachers, shrieking racial slurs in the middle of class)
>this got him into a **** load of fights (some of them are on youtube but most of them were taken down)
>Big problem: He never got punished for all the **** he did
>Even bigger problem: He had NO TARD WRANGLER
>His anger was extremely volitile but he had an odd sense of humor
>i.e. he somehow obtained my cell number and texted me pictures of various ***** he took for weeks
>Final project due in Health and he was assigned the digestive system
>we had to do it in presentations
>He got up in front of the class and explained how poop was made
User avatar #10 to #9 - CakemanRPG (01/08/2012) [-]
>He showed the class a 27 slide long powerpoint presentation
>each slide had a different picture of all the ***** he took the past month
>The whole class is having a difficult time keeping it all together
>teacher doesnt do **** because she knows that Brian has special needs
>FInishes the presentation by showing a video of him butt naked in his kitchen
>class is mortified
>in the video he begins to take an explosive **** in a bowl
>finishes and cleans himself off and walks toward the camera, with his three inch uncircumcised dick swaying back and forth
>picks up camera and walks it over to the bowl
>displays the greenish-brown slop to the class
>video ends with him turning the camera towards his face, grins and gives a pinkies up
>Says "Annin thdats how poopb is made"
>Girls are gagging or silent. Guys are pissing themselves laughing
>three teachers couldn't restore order
>expelled
>never saw brian again
#11 - doctoranon (01/08/2012) [+] (4 replies)
>Be four months ago.
>It's football (the American kind) season
>Tard is sitting on the sidelines with his tard wrangler because he wants to know what a practice is like
>Note that this kid is like goddamned Tardzilla, he's like 6'2" and 230 lbs
>surewhynot.jpg
>We're in the middle of running a play when I hear the most ungodly ******* terrifying noise I've ever heard in my life
>Tardzilla is screaming at the top of his lungs and ******* charging me
>I'm pretty much the biggest guy on the team so I don't think anything bad can come of it, so I just brace for impact
>Tardzilla runs over his wrangler (who is pretty big himself) to get to me
>I'vemadeahugemistake.jpg
>Tardzilla ******* tackles the everloving **** out of me.
>He's sitting on top of me, grabbing my facemask and shaking my helmet around, and chanting in the ancient forbidden tongues of Tardthulhu.
>I'm ******* scared out of my mind
>His wrangler and some of my teammates pull him off and help me up.
>Tardzilla is still screaming and flailing around
>Everyone stands there for a good thirty seconds
>I scream "WHAT THE **** JUST HAPPENED?!"
>Tardzilla just starts ******* crying
>The next day, I'm called into the principal's office
>Tardzilla is there with his wrangler, along with one of the coaches
>My ******* face when I have to apologize for swearing in front of him after he tackles me
User avatar #75 - TigerMann (01/09/2012) [+] (2 replies)
>Be in 10th grade
>School has tard gym class mixed in with mine
> ******* huge-ass tards, about 7 or 8 of them
>Gym class, we're playing volleyball
>Tards playing on one end of gym, my class on the other
>Not the best at this game, I accidentally hit the ball wrong
>Goes flying toward tards
>Hits biggest one in head
>whathaveidone.jpeg
>Tard screams war cry in Tardese
>Tard guard hears him, goes to calm him down
>Tard goes ******* , screams in Tardese
>Tard guard tried to calm the beast
>Says something about him not getting a sticker for this period
>She has unleashed the inner Tard warrior within tard
>Tard ******* kicks the tard guard in the stomach with the force of 1000 suns
>Other tards start going *******
>One tard grabs a volleyball, chucks it at her tard guard
>First tard turns into Tardicus, Thu'ums something in the ancient tongue of the Tardians
>Security arrives, tries to restrain Tardicus
>Tardicus- GRAWGHEUPFFTARUGHH
>Must be some sort of tard cry for help, another tard goes to help Tardicus


#105 - ccowman (01/09/2012) [+] (2 replies)
>9th grade pe
>just shooting hoops with my friends when this tard comes up to us
>doesnt say anything, just stares
>walk to other side of gym, try to ditch tard
>tard notices, runs after us
>oh god, we all start sprinting away
>tard lets out battle cry and sprints with all his tard speed
>tackles my friend to the ground with the force of a god damn freight train
>dont look back, just keep running
#44 - kingofnewyork (01/08/2012) [-]
Dude these never get old. 			****		 the frontpage, this is where the funny 			****		 is at!
Dude these never get old. **** the frontpage, this is where the funny **** is at!
User avatar #66 - gloogy (01/08/2012) [+] (2 replies)
>be 6th grade
>7th grade tard walking behind me
>I think nothing of it.
>Tard then Proceeds to slide his hand down my ass crack like a credit card machine
>Avoid tards at all costs since then.
User avatar #67 to #66 - gloogy (01/08/2012) [-]
Another Story
>be 7th grade
>Same tard now in 8th grade walks behind me
>Scared for my life
>He puts my hood over my head and grabs my nose
> he then proceeds to pinch my nose until it bleeds
>then he drags me down the hall by my bleeding nose
>I punch him in the face the hardest ive ever punched anyone.
>Break his nose.
>I got in trouble
**** the system
#16 - strawhatandrews (01/08/2012) [-]
one does not simply dislike these posts... I DEMAND MOAR!!!
#164 - unprdctbl (01/09/2012) [-]
>Be me after reading tons of tard stories   
>Going to the bathroom   
>Walk in and see local tard drop his pants down to his ankles and expose his bare ass to take a piss in the urinal   
>NOPE.jpg   
> Immediately turn around and walk the 			****		 out before some crazy 			****		 goes down.   
   
This happened to me at school on Friday. I'm never using a public bathroom again.
>Be me after reading tons of tard stories
>Going to the bathroom
>Walk in and see local tard drop his pants down to his ankles and expose his bare ass to take a piss in the urinal
>NOPE.jpg
> Immediately turn around and walk the **** out before some crazy **** goes down.

This happened to me at school on Friday. I'm never using a public bathroom again.
User avatar #127 - SynysterAlbrecht (01/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>8th Grade
>Lunch Time
>Walking with really hot girl I've liked since 6th Grade
>She's laughing at all my jokes
>Tard comes out of nowhere and starts hitting on her
>I politely tell him to back off
>He doesn't
>Starts calling her "tha sexciist thing" he's ever seen
>She is obviously very uncomfortable so I tell him he really needs to **** off
>Starts hugging her and says to me "whatchu guna do about it gay boy"
>I push him off of her
>He tries to get tough and pulls up his fists like he's gonna hit me
>Throws a swing at me but misses and hits the girl
>I whoop his ass
>He gets 100 day suspension and I get 2 days of in-house
>Girl and I start dating
How the **** am I going to explain to everyone that we're dating because I beat the **** out of a tard.
#190 - muchosgustaman (01/09/2012) [-]
>Be in Year 8 (7th grade)
>Just after lunch tard girl asks to change tampon.
>Teacher is slightly embarassed, lets tard go.
>Tard comes back ten minutes later with Period Sauce Soaked Tampon in hand
>Trys to give teacher hug with tampon still in hand.
>Teacher tells tard to go to Special ED office. (Their "time out" place)
>Tard flips her **** , swings tampon by string and cries.
> Trying to supress laughter at 60 year old teacher getting flinged with drops of period blood.
User avatar #136 - callmegtotnameisgt (01/09/2012) [-]
>Be in 10th grade
>Tard is at bus stop
>Bus stops after the stop sign instead of before, she normally goes before
>Tard won't have this
>Tard THU'UMS and I mean yells, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
>It's about 6:20 in the morning, multiple lights go on and doors open all looking for the source of the Thu'um
>Tard is furious, he punches bus driver in the face, and goes "WHAT THE **** I SHOULD KILL YOU LIKE A melon muncher Ron Paul hater BITCH"
>Tard sits down, bus driver goes"wut"
>10 minutes later, Tard says "AUTOBOTS TRANSFROM" and starts crawling around on the floor of the bus, like a slug
>Best day ever, the school started selling name-brand lemonade for a dollar
#57 - rubixpube (01/08/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>Physics class
>Tard has a pacemaker
>Kids tell tard that magnets can make him strong
>Tard puts magnet next to heart
>Has epileptic seizure
>mfw
User avatar #180 - inglipstruefollowr (01/09/2012) [-]
>read these posts
> feel bad
> still LOL
+14
#88 - heyheygurl **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #204 - awkwardsauce (01/09/2012) [+] (2 replies)
So there's this down syndrome kid from the special education class called Byron. He smiles at me a lot and keeps mistaking me for someone I don't know called Ben. So here's the story.
>In School bathroom at lunch time.
>two Douchebag bullies I hate come in. One is called Sam the other called Daniel
>they corner me and start giving me ****
>I'm too passive and weak to fight back
>when I try and leave they push me back
>they keep giving me a hard time and won't let me leave
>feels really ******* bad
>suddenly Byron comes in
>he watches the bullying for about half a minute
>Sam calls him a spaz and tells him to piss off
>Byron leaves
>bullying continues
>I try and leave again but Sam pushes my head against the wall and gets right in my face
>Suddenly Byron and about 7 other mentally retarded kids appear behind them
>Daniel says "Piss off you retard Ron Paul hatergots"
>Byrons face goes red and he bursts into tears
>he screams inaudibly at them
>other tards get riled up
>Daniels gives Sam a nervous glance who just pushes Byron in the chest
>Byron cracks it and starts swinging fists at Sam
>army of tards charge

#126 - toasthemost ONLINE (01/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>be first day in high school
>just bought some ************* skittles from the canteen, no big deal
>just sitting at a bench enjoying my skittles
>tard comes up and asks for some
>i kindly say no
>he loses his **** and starts swinging at anything he can see
>kicks hole in vending machine
>he throws this necklace he was wearing at someone
>says sorry and asks for some skittles
MFW
#41 - mindequalsblown (01/08/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Don't stop making these. They're really funny, the logo is annoying but i can deal with it, and i can relate to most of these. Also, I was in this one :)
#45 to #41 - mindequalsblown (01/08/2012) [-]
I guss I might as well contribute some more cuz my school is ******* tard city, namely my pe class.

>Tennis unit in P.E.
>We're playing doubles
>Me and a friend are against double tard midnight madness
>P.E. teacher pulls us aside and tells us to go easy on the Tard Rangers, something about boosting their confidence.
>Game begins
>Tard 2 is smarter than the other tard, we call him Professor Tardleroy
>I serve to Thing 1
>Thing 1 and Thing 2 both go for it, bump into eachother and scream
>El Tardo Numero Uno sits down for some reason
>Professor Tardleroy flips his **** for some reason and tries to pry him up
>"GiT BAK TOOOD AH GAYM!!!" he screams
>chilloutbro.jpg
>Both tards get in tardly tennis stances
> *************** .jpg
>Eventually, because we're supposed to let them win, the score becomes deuce
>I announce the score


#181 - deadagain (01/09/2012) [+] (3 replies)
These are absolutely hilarious.   
   
>Be in 10th grade, going to lunch (from 2nd floor)   
>Share lunch period with tard class   
>Tard caravan stomping and wailing behind me   
>Tard in electric wheelchair saying hi to everyone who walks by   
>12th grader doesn't say it back   
>Tard lets out unholy wail of Hades   
>Zooms off down the hall, half of tards follow him, screeching in Tardese   
>Wheelchair tard dives out of wheelchair onto stairs   
>Rolls down, autistic tard follows him   
>MFW two tards crying at bottom of stairs
These are absolutely hilarious.

>Be in 10th grade, going to lunch (from 2nd floor)
>Share lunch period with tard class
>Tard caravan stomping and wailing behind me
>Tard in electric wheelchair saying hi to everyone who walks by
>12th grader doesn't say it back
>Tard lets out unholy wail of Hades
>Zooms off down the hall, half of tards follow him, screeching in Tardese
>Wheelchair tard dives out of wheelchair onto stairs
>Rolls down, autistic tard follows him
>MFW two tards crying at bottom of stairs
#129 - donotwant (01/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Number 2 of my many traumatizing encounters   
>Be freshman   
>Be in cooking class   
>Leave class to go to bathroom   
>Listening to music loud as 			****		 yet again   
>Get to bathroom, nobody else is in there   
>Go to only urinal in bathroom to take piss   
>Begin to relieve self MeGusta.jpg   
>Feel warm breath on my neck out of nowhere   
>Pull 1 headphone out of ear and look behind me   
>Tard from the special ed room inches behind me   
>Making weird facial expressions   
>Looks like he's enjoying me pissing   
>Whispers in ear "doun't stuuop"   
>WTF.jpg   
>Fumble with zipper to get dick back in pants   
>Pubes get caught in zipper and pulled out in process   
>Almost scream out of pain   
>Begin to run for bathroom door   
>Tard grabs wrist with full tard strength   
>Says "NOO STAYY"
Number 2 of my many traumatizing encounters
>Be freshman
>Be in cooking class
>Leave class to go to bathroom
>Listening to music loud as **** yet again
>Get to bathroom, nobody else is in there
>Go to only urinal in bathroom to take piss
>Begin to relieve self MeGusta.jpg
>Feel warm breath on my neck out of nowhere
>Pull 1 headphone out of ear and look behind me
>Tard from the special ed room inches behind me
>Making weird facial expressions
>Looks like he's enjoying me pissing
>Whispers in ear "doun't stuuop"
>WTF.jpg
>Fumble with zipper to get dick back in pants
>Pubes get caught in zipper and pulled out in process
>Almost scream out of pain
>Begin to run for bathroom door
>Tard grabs wrist with full tard strength
>Says "NOO STAYY"

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