Best McDonalds application
These are actual answers en a McDonald' s application submitted by a
17 year eld kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him tee. I think
this kid' s gonna go far...
NAME: Greg Bullish.
SEX: Not yet, Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company' s President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever' s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn' t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: , 000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Owl: style severance package. If that' s not possible, make an offer and
we can haggle.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I' m worth,
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen
pens and portait notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1: : 30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they' re better suited to
a mere intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had ens
would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CARP: I think the mere appropriate question here
would be "De we have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION 'P,
I may already be a winner m the Publishers Clearing house
DO YOU SMOKE? On the jeb no, en my breaks yes.
WHAT WOU YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in
the Bahamas with a wealthy dumb sexy blendy super medel
who thinks I' m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I' d like
be doing that new.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO
THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.