Friendzoned!

#473 to #60 - SamiGirl (11/26/2011) [-]

I promise i am a FunnyJunk sister :-) and thank you for the thumb you didn't have to do that

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#63 to #53 - swiiftninja (11/26/2011) [-]

What do you think of people who say "I dont want to ruin our friendship"

#471 to #63 - SamiGirl (11/26/2011) [-]

If you never try it may also ruin the friendship. And like with my boyfriend who was my best friend it only made our friendship better we just also happen to be dating :-)

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#96 to #53 - semidemon ONLINE (11/26/2011) [-]

i wish ALL the girls thought this

#476 to #96 - SamiGirl (11/26/2011) [-]

So do I, I just wanna call most of my friends Dumb Bitches lol. Thank you for taking the time to comment by the way :-)

#132 to #53 - kittiezgorawr (11/26/2011) [-]

another girl who gets it! :D

#85 to #53 - ohlookskittles (11/26/2011) [-]

I don't get it either. I've only ever looked at my guy friends when thinking about potential boyfriends, and now I'm with someone with whom I KNOW I'll have a lasting relationship because we fit so well together as friends first.

#477 to #85 - SamiGirl (11/26/2011) [-]

Same with me and my boy :-) Congrats on your amazing guy <3

#481 to #53 - fuckyourtoast (11/27/2011) [-]

MFW A girl that friend zones every nice guy complains about never being able to find a nice guy to date.

Happens to me every time.

I'm fixing to paint myself orange, inject my lips with fucking air, jell my hair to look like a porcupine, sag my pants to my toenails, wear 7 polo shirts with all of the collars popped... and savagely beat ever woman I see just so I can get a girlfriend these days.

Just because I cannot find a girl like you, a girl that isn't a complete moron.

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#482 to #481 - SamiGirl (11/27/2011) [-]

I am so sorry Dumb Bitches do that to you, I bet you are an amazing guy, just wait soon enough a woman who is worthy of you will come along. The girls who want some Douche bag are not worthy of an incredible man like yourself. <3 :-)

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#483 to #482 - fuckyourtoast (11/27/2011) [-]

Why thank you very much :3

#484 to #483 - SamiGirl (11/27/2011) [-]

Anytime good man :3

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#480 to #53 - atomschlumpf (11/27/2011) [-]

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#231 to #53 - hereje (11/26/2011) [-]

wtf are you doing out of the kitchen?

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#474 to #231 - SamiGirl (11/26/2011) [-]

Bringing a damn sandwich lol. Enjoy.

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#92 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [+] (31 replies)

As men, we are instinctively meant to be leaders, hunters, warriors, Alpha Males. Unfortunately, the society we are raised in, with the help of Disney, teaches us that being a man and wanting sex is bad and that girls only go for nice shy guys. We obviously end up being sorely disappointed. Girls tell you they want a nice guy AND they're RIGHT! The problem is, this is what they want once they are ALREADY IN a relationship. This is not what INITIALLY ATTRACTS them.

Stop lying to yourself. Are you "nice" or do you just not have enough confidence to tell a girl what you really want? Do you define "nice" as compromising your goals and values to please others for no reason other than low self esteem and a desperate outreach for love, friendship and acceptance? It's time to take charge of your goals and passions in life. You are a train traveling towards what you want. Girls are welcome to come along but they will never knock you off course.

"Nice Guys" and "Jerks" have on thing in common. They both believe women are only tricked into having sex. The jerks do the tricking and the nice guys deliberately avoid sex in order to make the girl think he's nice, then proceeds to do a bunch of favors for the girl until she wants to have sex with him.

It's dishonest. So many men expect girls to fall for them because they drive them places and buy them stuff. Frankly, you treat women like legal prostitutes. How's that for respect?

Subconsciously, both guys want the same thing but rationalize their low self esteem with the self deceitful term "nice guy".

Jerks get laid because they're confident and assertive. Nice guys do not because they are not masculine. They take anyones' shit, including hers and demonstrate that they can't even stand up for themselves, let alone the girl they should be protecting in the future.

Girls like sex just as much as guys. Sex and wanting sex isn't bad, it's natural. Own it! DON'T think of sex as a reward or ulterior motive.

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#93 to #92 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

Start carrying yourself with pride. Act like a leader, like people look up to you. It's your birthright. Women will respond to you if you start acting a LITTLE selfish and a LOT MORE Assertive, Confident and POLITE. (Not to be confused with being a pushover).

Stand up for what YOU want to do. Validate yourself. Don't let your self esteem be driven by some outside force like a friend or girlfriend.

If you think it's funny, SAY IT!

If you think it's fun, DO IT!

Your inner thoughts and emotions, as well as your enthusiasm, are contagious. People will accept and look up to the kid who is confidently weird rather than the kid trying to hide his true self by acting "normal".

You know that voice in your head that always says "I wish I would have said that!" "I wish I would have done that!". That's your conscience/ego talking and he wants to come out. Start letting him out and listening to him. He'll get you into trouble, no doubt! But he'll make you better for it!

Lastly, half of you will be too lazy or scared to improve your behavioral traits that you will use the excuse "I don't want to change "Who I Am". Well "Who you are" should have no boundaries. The only limits you have, you impose yourself. Changing basic behavioral traits doesn't change "Who you are". You can still play video games, read manga, listen to death-metal even if you start acting confident and assertive. You're not altering yourself. You're becoming the best possible version of yourself.

If you have specific questions feel free to message me!

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#102 to #93 - tiberiia (11/26/2011) [-]

You, sir, just won life. Congratulations.

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#100 to #93 - swimmingprodigy (11/26/2011) [-]

wow. That hit home.

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#104 to #93 - applep (11/26/2011) [-]

I would make you a sammich.

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#121 to #93 - urikhi ONLINE (11/26/2011) [-]

Awesome, I'll drink to that

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#110 to #93 - Furubatsu (11/26/2011) [-]

you sir have won the internet, at life, and symbolise everything that is wisdom
I bow tou your supirior mind

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#137 to #93 - N. Korean citizen (11/26/2011) [-]

I'm a woman and I agree with you.

Though, I tend to go more for the quiet smart type, I prefer when a guy actually has the courage to ASK me... it shows he's not a complete girl and shows he's not afraid to take risks, which is what you NEED to do in any relationship. I accidentally "friend zone" some guys because of how feminine they seem, and so I assume that they're gay and not worth my time trying to get into a romantic relationship with.

It's also best that you learn to love yourself before you even consider loving anyone else, and that goes for girls as well. You can't be in a healthy and happy relationship and always be crying about yourself and clinging to your partner. It gets annoying fast.

Just don't overplay the machoism, guys. Girls love it when you do sweet things such as going for walks with them, or cooking for them, or just cuddling on the couch watching a horror movie.

I for one love playing video games with my boyfriend and will gladly go to his house to play MW3 or Skyrim with him, but not all girls like when you pay more attention to an xbox than you do to them.

Nor do many girls like an overbearing jock who's always making sex jokes. That'll land you in the friend zone fast.

I've noticed that more than half the guys on this site aren't complete 12-year-old idiots, so yes, there ARE girls out there for you. Girls who like pokemon, video games, horror movies, and computers, and understand you.

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#141 to #137 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

This is a smart girl, everything she said is true. You have to find a healthy balance and love yourself. Improve ALL aspects of your life, not just the romantic one. You can still do nice romantic things without being a pushover. Good advice.

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#116 to #93 - mcmg ONLINE (11/26/2011) [-]

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#109 to #93 - PartyPanda (11/26/2011) [-]

Somebody needs to start the slow clap.

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#105 to #93 - kingoyaks (11/26/2011) [-]

While I enjoyed reading this post (oddly motivational, and the use of basic punctuation/grammar is always nice), I disagree with you on many points.

1. “Women like jerks initially, and only want nice guys while in relationships with jerks.”
No. Women want to marry nice guys, but they want the children of jerks. Ideally, they’d get your friend-zoned ass to marry them and support their children while cheating on you with that football player.
It makes sense evolutionarily. Women have drastically increased needs for calories during pregnancy and lactation, so they need guys to take care of them. That’s why they act like “legal prostitutes”, they are instinctively checking to see if you are the generous type who would support their children. They also check to see if you are the nice type who would stay and care for them while they are pregnant and thus half-crazy with hormones and such. However, like you said, jerks are generally masculine. They take risks. They are more likely to be successful (were?). So, women want their children to be masculine and thus successful, so they want to date the masculine guys.

2. "Nice guys are automatically pushovers."
While I agree that most nice guys are just unassertive, I think that there are many who just know how to listen. Girls like to talk. I can explain the evolutionary mechanics behind that too (yeah, freshman in psychology thinks he knows everything, but he doesn't...I get it...) but I'm running out of characters. Since girls like to talk, they want to know if you'll listen. It is another way of checking to see if you are nice or not. Here's an easy way to see if you are a good listener or just unassertive: Get in a conversation with a girl who seems even slightly interested in your hobby. If you talk for 3 hours about WoW without letting her get a word in, you aren't nice, just timid.

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#108 to #105 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

1. No, most women our age (making the assumption you fit the average demographic of funnyjunk) do NOT want to get married OR have kids. They want sex, just like you. That's not a bad thing, and don't try to label it as such. We're young, make mistakes, have fun. Marriage is great but it is often misunderstood.

2. They're not acting like legal prostitutes. If some girl was driving you around and buying you stuff you wouldn't say no because if she was like the typical nice guy she wouldn't ever tell you she was interested until you're already in a relationship with a hot girl. Don't put the blame on her when you're the one letting yourself getting walked all over.

3. You can know how to listen and be assertive. Now you're just making excuses and rationalizing your bad behavioral traits with good terms.

4. If you can talk for 3 hours without letting HER get a word in you're talkative and interesting. If you let HER talk the whole time you're not interesting. Why would she want to be a part of your life if you're not going to bring excitement to hers? That's just unfair.

This is the thing. Guys always try to say "yea, BUT". Just stop. Obviously none of this applies to all things all the time, but you need to look deep inside and be HONEST with YOURSELF.

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#119 to #108 - monstamunchies (11/26/2011) [-]

Okay, dudes, let's break this up. A conversation needs input from two people. If one person talks for hours without letting the other get a word in then that becomes a monologue, and no-one can enjoy that for very long.

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#120 to #119 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

I've met some very interesting people that I could listen to for hours.

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#113 to #108 - thegoldenjet has deleted their comment. [-]

#274 to #93 - RisenLichen ONLINE (11/26/2011) [-]

Then please explain my situation:
for many years i have been too shy to ask any girl out. But recently, for the first time in my 17 years, i asked a girl out. And to my relief, she said yes! You wouldn't believe the relief and the feeling of satisfaction that came over me. I had asked her out on monday, and we had planned the date for sunday. That was the happiest week of my life. But then, come friday, i get a text from her saying that she doesnt think that we would be compatible, when the people we hang with say that we do have quite a bit in common. I said alright its cool, trying to hide my crushed feelings. I thought to myself that the first time i ever put my feelings out there, the first time i ever ignored that little voice inside my head that kept telling me dont try, it'll only end badly. And it turns out, the voice was right. I ended up getting crushed. I didn't want sex at all, i wanted a real relationship with hugging and kissing and cuddling and hand holding and all that crap. That's what i wanted. But as the days went by, i started to think less and less of it. until, one day, i overheard her and one of our friends talking about this 19 year old guy that she might consider going out with. Mind you, this guy is the classic douche, she met him at a party, he went up to her, gave her a compliment and all that. And i thought to myself, Funnyjunk has taught me to stop being a pussy and give it a shot, because the advantage that 'douche bags' have over 'nice guys' is that the 'douche bags' actually ask the girl out. So why is it, that a girl that is absolutely amazing; i mean she brilliant,cute,loves manga/anime,has a goofy sense of humor,can really bring energy into a room; goes for the 'douche bag' even when the 'nice guy' asks her out? Why, why, why oh god WHY? Please, i need an answer. i cant get over the fact that it happened. I always read these stories on FJ saying how people met their soul mates after giving it a shot, why is it when i try it FAILS?

#301 to #274 - bummerdrummer (11/26/2011) [-]

bro, nobody wins on the first try. i know at 17 she may seem like the only girl for you, but trust me, she isnt. just wait, college is a completely different ball game. there are a lot more girls availible and besides, high school relationships rarely work out. either way, keep at it, dont get discouraged, there really are more fish in the sea. i used to be like you, and in some ways i still am, but the only way to change your ways is to eat some bacon and man the fuck up. it takes some serious discipline but in the end it'll make you feel better about yourself. just my 2 cents.

#435 to #301 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

Exactly what this guy said!

#434 to #274 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

Well for one, it wasn't 100% bad. You need to pay attention to the success. She said yes! She gave you a chance. You've made it farther than most of the kids reading this.

You also need to start being a little more honest with yourself. Of course we all love to cuddle and hold hands and the romance, but did you even know this girl well enough to be SURE that she was so special? It doesn't sound like it. Also, you DO want sex. Don't say you don't want sex at all, that's a lie, plain and simple.

Next time, you need to progress. Hold hands, make the first move for the kiss. If you don't move the relationship forward with physical escalation she will put you back in the friendzone. You have to have that sexual charge. Own your desire, don't be ashamed of it. She's 99% going for the douche because he's progressing sexually and you're young, she wants sex, she doesn't want marriage right now. If you act like marriage material she'll throw you to the side til she's ready for marriage, which may be never or by that time she'll have forgotten. You have to be the here and now guy.

Also. This part is a KILLER, but the sooner you realize the truth of it, the sooner you can be happy. "There are plenty of fish in the sea." She wasn't the ONE. I can promise you that you don't know any girl well enough for her to be the one. The one is something that you can only discover by being in a real relationship. You don't know the personal side of her, how she acts when no one is around. If you could put up with that side, and enjoy it, she just might be the one. But you need to go out, meet girls, tons of girls, you'll soon realize that you were wrong about her being the most special girl ever. You'll meet someone 10 times better I promise.

Go check out the 3 videos on my profile Step 1: Parts 1, 2 and 3. I'm also sending you a message with all the other info you need.

#486 to #274 - N. Korean citizen (11/27/2011) [-]

Well said my friend!

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#125 to #93 - hammythehamster (11/26/2011) [-]

Sir. You are the boss.

#167 to #93 - magnumraptorjesus (11/26/2011) [-]

I'm saving this. For the rest of my life.

#171 to #167 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

there are some really good youtube videos on my profile having to do with this stuff. especially Step 1: parts 1 2 & 3. Check em out you'll like em.

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#134 to #93 - mjdjoy (11/26/2011) [-]

I completely agree with you good sir. Everybody should listen to these wise words.

#397 to #93 - cookiemunsta (11/26/2011) [-]

Lol, there was another post like this once and I think I saw you post the exact same thing :3

#284 to #93 - Stabb (11/26/2011) [-]

(responding to the "be yourself" statement)

I've never been restrained by the chains of the generic social life of society. I always act myself and people call me weird. I have never been accepted for it and this has become a burden and it tends to push people away rather than inspire them and accept it. I'm weird and outgoing. I do things I want to do even though it's embarrassing, but even when I do these things, people see me as some weird alien in school (i'm in high school btw). I'm somewhat of a loner who just tries to hang out with random groups of people, who I find avoiding me in the end. When I act as myself, people just say that I have some sort of "me against the world" complex and call me stupid. Most people think I'm just trying to be some sort of attention whore.

People will bash on you for being yourself. It is a true, inevitable fact. You can say things like, "oh, just ignore it", or "Don't let it get to you" and things like that, but in the end, you end up separating yourself from people more in more to the point where you just feel downright lonely.

#430 to #284 - asgardian (11/26/2011) [-]

Here is another example of being honest with yourself.

1. It's probably not as bad as you were making it. In high school (senior year especially) I started talking to the "cool kids" and "jocks" and one time the kid waved at me but laughed. I assumed he was laughing at me but then later he thought I was being mean to him and being snobby because I didn't say hi. Don't label things that happen as negative just because you think they are. Look at the facts, don't color them with your opinions.

2. High school does kind of suck though, College is amazing, if you go. It get's better in that department. Everyone is friendly and you're part of the family simply because you go to the school. It's a much more spirited community.

3. The fact that you think it's embarassing shows that your self esteem is still driven by some outside force, which explains why people are alienating you. Stop doing things to get a reaction. You may not even be realizing that's what you're doing but I would put money on it. Don't do things to get people to like you OR to prove you don't care that they do. Do things because they're fun and YOU alone want to. Validation, the feeling of acceptance, starts and ends within yourself.

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#485 to #93 - N. Korean citizen (11/27/2011) [-]

Never been friend zoned. Probs never will. Sucked in. Lol

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#107 to #92 - kliks **User deleted account** (11/26/2011) [-]

TLDR