Priceless. . tatl K, TIBET Mum: You' re E murderer! lute: Uh. what'? Mom: "tauted the tissues in your trash ntart. Every time you do that. you are letting my gr
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Priceless

tatl K, TIBET
Mum: You' re E murderer!
lute: Uh. what'?
Mom: "tauted the tissues in your trash
ntart. Every time you do that. you are letting
my grandchildren!
Things Parents TI.' Jri. : Iorn
Dad: **** we if I' m wrong. but didn' t we
wheel on the winch’?
HIE: EMT Immer
Dad: itaots. Meant for you mom.
Ma: Nice line though
a... rungs Femmes n, -“cam
Dad: How does lady like her steak?
Dad: Raw raw. -- raw new raw
Things
Dad: Your mom wanted to sign up for
facebookk today so I told heythere' s
something better than faceboob: for women:
its called Cookbook.
Croup Things Parents Tort Li: om
Me: I' just received my acceptance
letter from Ea abridge.
Mum: Men. _it' s no Hogwarts.
arm Things Parents "rext. team
Me: I hate wish :i
Morn: You know. There' s a support group
for that. its called EVERYBODY, and they
meet at the bar.
Users Things Parents "rext. corra
Dad: I can' t wait to get an Pad.
Me: I didn' t know you wanted one...
Dad: cm yeah! I' m going to pretend I' m a
midget with an Phone.
Crazy Things Parents
Dad: I want to mate a beer called
responsibly. so the other companies
advertise for me ... "Drink Responsibly"
Things Parents Tea in om
Mom: Akon 2006 "I wanna WI: you" --
Akon EDDIE. " l wanna make love right now
poor guy waited 4 years!
Eraly Things Parents
Dad: You look more callused than a blind
lesbian at a fish market.
Curt Things Parents Takt. rom
Me: Mom I' m gonna get at tattoo.
Mom: The only tattoo I' ll allow u to get is
eyeballs on the bottom of to boobs so
when u get old and saggy u can tring am
over or shoulder and scare the crap outta
the neighbor kids
tint's Things Parent:
Me Dad. who do I look like wrote. you or
Mom?
Dad: You loos like the hobo who gave you
to us.
Creey Things Parents ‘. i: cna
Mom: when Lady Gaga dies, she can
donate her balls to Justin Glibber
traer Things Parents Ttiimm
Dad: You changed your relationship status
to ‘It' s complicated‘ on F acebook' -it
Me: Yeah why'?
Dad: Can' t decide which hand to use'?
draw , etta
Dad: why Can' t Sluts Count to TO?
Me: Idrk
Dad: BECAUSE 69 IS A MOUTH FULL
canny Things Pa rents Tex Loom
Dad: I changed all my passwords to
incorect". so my tells me
when I forget.
Crazy Things Parents ,
Me Hey where me you?
Dad: Going to hang out at for a bit
so I can feel better about myself,
tn. -y Tth" gs Patents Texta: tam
Me: Mom, you are never going to get better
if you don' t remember to take your
medicine,
Mom: You wouldn' t be here if I always took
my medicine
Crazy Things Parents Tex Li: out
Dad: Today. L Realized. That. Typing. Like.
This- Does. Not. Make. Your. Point.
Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look- Like., Your.
Phone- Has. Asthma.
rim Things Parents
Me: I' m at MacDonald' s haying El salad
Dad: Ordering salad at Mcd' s is like asking
a whore for a hug
may Things Parents 'eat,. cqtm
Me How are Ll feeling todday?
Dad: Like a tampon. In it good place. At
the wrong time.
Things Parents Tatata. -,
Dad: I' m going to a park with shades on
and a media on. and going to waitting
someone ask me which kid is mine and
then I' m going to reply I haven' t decided
plan for Boredom?
rim Things Parents Teat-,
Me: more have you been the last couple
of hours?
Dad: I' m playing the African version of
Monopoly. so far. We govt mud huts, 3
cows, a chicken. and aids,
Things Parents
Dad: Have you ever bought anything on
eBay'?
Me: Yeah why'?
Dad: I think Ijust wasted some money on
eBay, I bought a penis enlargement kit and
the dude sent are a magnifying glass.
erg... Things Parents 'rext. corer
Me: Dad can I have some people over
Dad: Yes B people and Ho Alcohol this
time.
Dad: Also ND Fat Chicks
ems, Things Parent:
Mom: Ijust told a gin she drew her
eyebrows on we high,,.,
Isle: what did she say?
Mom: Nothing but she looked pretty
surprised
erg, Things Parents Tex Lt; em
Dad: In order for Ll to continue receive
smartical assistance for college from m
mother and l, u have to add m mother as a
friend on facebook. This .
Evarr Things Parent: Tstart, ,
Dad: Think about it. Spongebob has a
bunch of holes and F’ atla' has tit bunch of
pointy pink things. coincidence. I think not
can Things Parents "
Dad: Your Mend who whistles when she
talks isn' t allowed over anymore. She is
confusing the hell out of my dog-
Eran Partyhats "rette.
Morn: I left a cake in the fridge with at note
that said, "don' t eat me." Now there' s a
plate and a note that says. "l don' t take
orders from cake"- was this you or your
father. I promise leant be mad.
Cury Things Parents
...
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Views: 44228
Favorited: 505
Submitted: 11/24/2011
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Comments(191):

[ 191 comments ]

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#25 - vegihead (11/25/2011) [+] (2 replies)
Im in a room full of people reading this and i just sat here supressing retarted giggles the whole time. yay for feeling retarted..
Im in a room full of people reading this and i just sat here supressing retarted giggles the whole time. yay for feeling retarted..
#5 - nhorozov (11/24/2011) [-]
**nhorozov rolled a random image**
#24 - MrNoHandsHeavy (11/25/2011) [+] (5 replies)
If. I. Type. Like. This. Then. You. Will. Read. This. Taking. Pauses. In. Between. Each. Word. And. Won't. Even. Notice. The. Game.
#161 - doggydick (11/25/2011) [+] (2 replies)
+16
#55 - twilightsparklemlp **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (11 replies)
#98 - joemanperson (11/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
#93 - anonymous (11/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
nuff said
#120 - stuntmanmike (11/25/2011) [-]
The last one.
#59 - vedomajkatrololol (11/25/2011) [-]
oh yeah sure seems legit, moms and dads just randomly texting you jokes and punchlines..
oh yeah sure seems legit, moms and dads just randomly texting you jokes and punchlines..
+8
#10 - ladymirror **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#160 - danielfm (11/25/2011) [-]
Fukken saved :)
#62 - jorgefuber (11/25/2011) [-]
**jorgefuber rolled a random image** my parents..
#16 - jbyrd (11/25/2011) [-]
**jbyrd rolled a random image** lol'd very hard at the last one.
**jbyrd rolled a random image** lol'd very hard at the last one.
#12 - twinsen (11/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
"You look more confused that a blind lesbian on a fish market."

laughed my ass off!!!
User avatar #51 - dqtest (11/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
**** me if I'm wrong, but aren't we gonna have sex soon?
#28 - anonymous (11/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
if you look at the smiley face the eyebrows are shoulders the mouth is the stomach and the eyes are boobs ... and this is a gif of me and my little sister when we were little which works with this
if you look at the smiley face the eyebrows are shoulders the mouth is the stomach and the eyes are boobs ... and this is a gif of me and my little sister when we were little which works with this
+6
#38 to #28 - invisofloor **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #18 - ohgodwaitimatheist (11/25/2011) [-]
Boy, I loved this big time. Hardly I say I did laugh on something on internet and actually laughed irl. Anyway I just wanna point up two things.

1 - A very small ammount of the jokes are known for pretty much anyone (e.g. the complicated relationship on Facebook), which made me think for a while this wasn't about actual texts, anyway, most was really fun and new (I'm still laughing about the blind lesbian on a fish market).

2 - You killed the happy inner me in the end with the generic thumbwhoring. Dude don't do that!
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