One of my many near death experiences

That happened to me once, only intead of being happy I was going to miss school, I shot up my school.

One day in middle school a kid wrote on a bathroom stall "BOMB 3/14/11". It was found on 3/14/11. I was in gym, and thought it wouldn't be very cold (it had been in the 50's to 70's earlier that week) so I was in a t-shirt and shorts. It was 20. Fucking. Degrees. Naturally, the threat was found while I was in gym. The school evacuated to the playground. The other gym kids and I never got a chance to change. We ended up having to wait 2 WHOLE HOURS for the cops to finish sweeping the entire school. They then narrowed down the suspects to my schools hardcore druggies. They questioned all 5 of them. Meanwhile, the wind picks up and it starts FUCKING SNOWING. So here I am, staring at the five of them being questioned, while I'm freezing my ass off in my shorts. After 3 hours, they finally arrested one of the kids. As they led him past me, I felt all of my rage building up. This pot head put me through 3 hours of freezing cold just for a lol or two. My rage keeps growing. And growing. And growing. He's about a good yard or two away from me when I shout to the cops "wait!". I walk up to this jerk-wad and say [big]"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"[big ] next thing I know, the earth is shaking. My hair turns blond and spiky. I became super saiyan. I kamehameha the shit out of the kids. Cops pull out their guns. Their puny bullets are nothing on my new rock hard chisled body. I forcefully lock them in their own cars and proceed over to the corpse of the wanna be bomber. I lean over his body. He whispers out a dying breath "Phil, reach into my pocket". I do as he says. I pull out SO MUCH FUCKING SPAGHETTI!!! Then, my super saiyan powers deactivate. Everyone is dead. I can't believe myself for losing all control like that. I notice my testicles became meatballs. I became the pot smoker's FUCKING SPAGHETTI! Turns out he's a wizard who wanted to eat me to gain my powers. Jokes on him though, as my marinara sauce is poisonous. He died.

**jewhater rolled a random image**

Bomber's reaction

What is the point of this?

Pic related, funnier than the content.

i think i know who it was

See this asshat? He tried to blow up my school a few years ago.

A friend of mine did the same thing, except that instead of a bomb threat he shot up the school.

Doesn't work too well in this context, butt fuck it.

I don't blame you.

My near death experience is as follows.
>Born with no sense of smell
>go through life until 11th grade
>classmate farts very loudly
>first and only thing I have ever smelled is a raunchy fart
>my nostrils are set ablaze with this horrible feeling and I feel like just running and never coming back
ishouldntbealive.jpg

**Demos rolled a random image** We had a shooting threat once, on Halloween (a monday) someone left a note in the bathroom saying that three people would show up tuesday with guns in their backpacks. The school discounted it as a Halloween prank. WHAT IF IT HAD BEEN REAL?

People on FJ from NJ? YAAAAYYY Btw. Picture related

I call bullshit..Not on the post, on the comments..
Apparently about 50% of people on FJ have had a bomb scare, faked one, or failed one...
Am I the only one that's never been to or even heard of a school that's had one?

A few years back, some kids made a bomb threat at our school by leaving a note on a teacher's desk that said, I'm not shitting you here, " Change our grades to A's or will will blow up the school with a bom". Yes, that is fucking word for word I shit you not. I mean, I can understand being paranoid about some psyco kid shooting up the school, but if they can't even spell "bomb" correctly, do you think that shit's even credible? ( This was a 7th grade class, btw)

Theres so many bomb threats in Jersey because everyone hates it here. And I'm from Jersey

my english teacher told us how a series of small bombs went off in her school luckily no one died and the person was caught

>Write a message saying
"Today the school will blow up. I have set bombs around it. -Anonymous"
>Put message in front of the school doors at night
>No school for a week

last year, someone found a bomb in one of the drawers in the class i was in. Everyone ran the fuck out of there, but my teacher stayed to defuse it. We never knew he used to be part of the bomb squad. it was a dud btw, just a scare.

Like 3 or 4 years ago at my school the rumour spread that someone had sent a mail to the school with a warning that that someone would go on a rampage...everyone was nervous and scared. Turns out it was all a joke.
A sick joke in my opinion.

**wiizzz rolled a random image**