Sex Merit Badges. . Requirements IE be completed in Elementary School) v Pronounce ' properly. l Discuss the major pitfalls of the "Stork" theory, and oi the “M sex merit badges College humor
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Sex Merit Badges

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IE be completed in Elementary School)
v Pronounce ' properly.
l Discuss the major pitfalls of the "Stork" theory, and oi the “Mom Poops
the Baby Out” paradigm.
Point out which part of the female anatomy produces milk, lemonade,
and where fudge is made.
Answer the following: Kevin and Melissa are discovered sitting in a
tree, Where is the clitoris?
Spa at Awards
First Aid: During lunch, can a friend over to
look at your new Show him into
Jenny, and quickly administer an emergency
Coolie Shot.
Tracking: arm, porn abandoned in the woods.
Reenact the "Nude Magazine Day" scene
from Billy Madison in its entirety.
Hot am Teacher: When answering a
question, speak quietly so your teacher has to
bend over to hear you. Look down her shirt.
Badge is awarded when you see the first =
nipple that doesn’ t belong to your mother.
IE be completed Middle School)
IWW; “vagina” accurately.
Describe the four bases, indicating which base hone g boobs" falls
under. Defend your argument.
r Discretely bulsh E girls’ butts with the back of your hand. Do you think
that’ s what a boob feels like? Explain.
Describe what you think a Blow Job might be, based on the name.
Blow? How does that feel good?
r During The Miracle of " squint hard enough to convince yourself its
a documentary called “Karate Moms."
Choose a girl from your " will do. Every day for a
period, tell her she stuffs her bra. Log her reactions. Does
she like you yet?
Spec I Award
Assisted spermicide: Masturbate 8 times in
one day OR 21 times Ir one week.
The Negotiator: Talk down the erection you
got stretching for gym before you have to
stand up
The Talk of Shame: Tell your little brother
what you know about sex, permanently
stunting " libido.
Turn Vow Head and : Avoid getting
an erection when the doctor touches your
junk during your physical. Or if you do,
tell anyone, okay’!
Sat: Taken: Casually arrange to sit next to
a cute girl on the bus on as class " Talking
to her is not required, although accidentally
farting will disqualify you from this award.
IE be completed in High School)
Give an accurate account of a vagina.
Demonstrate ability to mischievously unhook a bra through a toshiro.
Describe what condition a 'Gilr, must be in in order to play ball.
r Using the Internet, research different sexual positions and erotic
circumstances, making note of your favorites. Report your wildly
inaccurate expectations of sex to your imi girlfriend.
metaphor or something?
Hook up with Jenny at prom. This is your last chance, you got this!
Sock of Shame: Maintain poker face when
your mom tells you she found a sock in your
garbage and washed it for you.
The Mentor: Leave hardcore porn
somewhere in woods to help younger
scouts complete their badge requirements.
Plan A: Convince your friends, and yourself,
that you' re a virgin by
IE be completed in College)
Talk about how much you love vagina.
r Hook up 5 times while your roommate is in the room.
Hook up with your high school girlfriend over winter break. if she got
hotter, brag to friends. If she got fat, scrub the shame off of your junk
with a pumice stone.
Rank the atilia locations from most to least likely to find a suitable
girlfriend: A. the bar; B. the gym; C. the phannact. Email
r Quit masturbating to the time you Jenny at prom. You
know you' re beating off to a minor, right?
Spec I Award
The Ninja: Sneak out of a gira’ s room
without her noti rig.
The Wizard: Sneak out of a girt’ s room
without her noticing.
The Sister Sweep: Hook up with two sorority
Mem two actual Mlia two conjoined
sisters, and the Sister Sister sisters.
Mil Casa: Whenever you bring a gilt back to
your dorm, have her make a Mil in Mi Sports.
Badge is awarded when you can field an
entire baseball team with exploders.
Into the crevasse: Every a
Frere' marr period, hook up with the most Cindee' dazzle
girl at the by Options liduda, but are not mrm to,
metal girl, the git with the mustachio, the amputee
Desume in detailed metaphor what
is =
F om College Humor
Discuss: Where the fuck is the Gospod anyway? is it a real thing? is it a
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