ATM. . ATM A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this Bank is installing new ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving the
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ATM

ATM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new ATM machines enabling
customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
l Drive up to the cash mashine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of sash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
I. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
l Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
at Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on wit phone you WW call them hack and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
I. Open car door to allow easier assess to machine due to its excessive distance from the u
It insert card.
9. Reminders card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
ft Press cancel and recenter Correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
Cheek makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
fr.. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. make up.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
Reverse back to cash machine.
Retrieve card.
22. hand bag, iskate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate mate driver waiting behind you.
Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 mites.
27.. Release Parking Brake.
...
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Views: 936
Favorited: 1
Submitted: 11/13/2011
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - derik (11/13/2011) [+] (15 replies)
wow really ATM machine... The M in ATM stands for machine... I hate dumb people...
User avatar #8 to #7 - baldraun (11/14/2011) [-]
If we're going to take the side of the argument that adheres to strict grammatical and mechanical rules rather than what could be interpreted by the generally stupid public, then derik's point is more valid than yours. My solution wasn't meant to be orthodox, nor was it even meant to be a solution - it was primarily meant to be a source of humour, which has apparently evaded you.
#2 - fhhfas (11/13/2011) [-]
*roll #9*
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