The Complete Military History of France. Hope you guys enjoyed, and learned something new. Credit goes to: www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html.. Romans don't count as Italians. EVERYONE lost to Romans.
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

The Complete Military History of France

Hope you guys enjoyed, and learned something new.
Credit goes to: www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

Tags: france
+547
Views: 19395
Favorited: 107
Submitted: 11/11/2011
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to benassibro E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(158):

[ 158 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #52 - corundum (11/12/2011) [-]
Romans don't count as Italians. EVERYONE lost to Romans.
User avatar #48 - fuhrersalzburg (11/12/2011) [+] (4 replies)
Guess who made our troops capable of fighting the English? If you look at history, Americans were losing the Revolution horribly until the French came.

Mmkay. SOME of these wars can be excused. The Gallic wars weren't technically French. The Gauls were widely considered to be Germanic until after the Hundred Years War, and the Romans were unbeatable until their fall began. They even beat the Carthaginians, who were considered the most powerful people on the earth.

In the Hundred Years War, England was just better organized. It wasn't until after the war that the French became the French, and Joan of Arc can't exactly be called schizophrenic. Schizophrenia comes from the mind, and she was called to get a sword from a church she had never heard of, so it may as well be something else. (Sorry, Christian defense moment here.)

You can't exactly make fun of the French for losing to the British. They were the world's greatest superpower until the last 200 years or so. And tying with the Dutch in a naval war is quite an achievement, really. They had quite a powerful navy.

If you payed attention in your history classes, you'd know that the French provided valuable information on the German troop movements in WWII, their knowledge is what made D-Day work, if you know the strategy.


Lastly, they've got quite a rich culture compared to the rest of the world. So yeah. They do succeed at something, just not war.

(sorry, done raging)
User avatar #2 - thepancakeman (11/11/2011) [+] (4 replies)
WW1?? France saved the USA!? The British and the Duct and the French themselves did allot of Fighting and fought for years.
#108 - CiaranPM (11/12/2011) [-]
Check out France's new flag.
#35 - xxxsonic fanxxx (11/12/2011) [+] (1 reply)
France 1-0 United States
At least, we've won 1 war.
Stupid US bobs, gtfb to mcdo plz
#37 to #35 - thejerseyjenn (11/12/2011) [-]
are you saying that the us never won a war?!!?!?!?!?!?
You have to be kidding me!!!
This is not worth my time -_-

goodbye dumbass.
#27 - tomoohka (11/11/2011) [-]
Soon...
#117 - byposted (11/12/2011) [-]
French Army Knife
#54 - xxxsonic fanxxx (11/12/2011) [-]
"First rule of French Warfare"= Surrender
User avatar #49 - beyerballler (11/12/2011) [-]
Moral of the story... France only wins when they fight themselves.
User avatar #23 - kingnarnode (11/11/2011) [+] (3 replies)
americans saving the entente in world war one? your so ******* hilarious.... and you also failed to mention frances successful expantions into foreign colonies. and you also forgot to mention how france ******* SAVED EUROPE FROM A MUSLIM INVASION at the battle of tours.... so you sir, can go **** yourself
#13 - roleppol (11/11/2011) [-]
Is it just me, or did they win wars against pretty much every European Power between le revolution and le Napoleonic wars?
#5 - xxxsonic fanxxx (11/11/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Yeah so out of more than 140 wars, you only take the lost ones, and also take won ones saying they're lost / tied ?

what the actual **** sir
User avatar #109 - dafiltafish (11/12/2011) [+] (2 replies)
*cough* french navy *cough* american revolution *cough* *cough* 500 ships *cough* usa had ****
User avatar #112 to #109 - enclavesoldier (11/12/2011) [-]
U.S.A had the army though. However, your point is valid because America, sadly, would have faced certain defeat if it weren't for French intervention.
User avatar #65 - illegalartist (11/12/2011) [+] (3 replies)
By the author's definition, every kingdom in the history of man "lost." Also, the person who made this convieniently left out the frankish invasions and Charlegmagne. Not to mention the fact that the gauls sacked rome long before caesar got their **** together. In fact the gauls did a lot of bad ass stuff but thats another thread all together.

User avatar #70 to #66 - manofsteele (11/12/2011) [-]
Seems like people don't want facts, just reinforcement of stereotypes.
#42 - majort (11/12/2011) [-]
TL;DR version.
#11 - buzzin like a bee (11/11/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Would love to see Britains.
#171 - lann (02/05/2012) [-]
have germany invade.

the germans will fix them.

if not zhen call zhe americhyans as al-vays.
#76 - Astronesthes (11/12/2011) [+] (3 replies)
>mfw most of this is horse **** and ignores almost everything that happened in those wars
#78 to #76 - xxxsonic fanxxx (11/12/2011) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image** Do you know English? Do you know what "mfw" stands for?
User avatar #7 - thejackall (11/11/2011) [+] (1 reply)
you forget the time they conquered Britain...
User avatar #10 to #7 - buzzin like a bee (11/11/2011) [-]
To be fair we did just fight off loads of vikings and march the entire length of England, led by a king who hadn't even reigned a year.
[ 158 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)