The Bible of the Internetz: Genesis
l And ychan and Funnyjunk were Finished, and all the host of them.
2 And on the seventh day V Finished his work which he had made; and he
rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.
6 And q blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it; because that in it he
rested from all his work which q had created and made.
l These are the generations of Khan and of Funnyjunk when they Were
created, in the day that q made Funnyjunk and ychan.
5 And no picture of the site was yet in Funnyjunk, and no gif of the site
had yet sprung up; for q had not caused it to rain upon Funnyjunk: and
there was not a male member to till the ground;
6 but there went up a mist from Funnyjunk, and watered the whole face of
7 And v formed male member of the dust of the ground, and breathed into
his nostrils the breath of The Ultimate Showdown; and male member became a
8 And V planted a garden eastward, in The Top Ili; and there he put the
male member whom he had formed.
9 And out of the ground made V to grow every video that is pleasant to the
sight, and humour for food; the video of The Ultimate Showdown also in the
midst of The Top 15, and the video of the knowledge of humour and spam.
10 And a river went out of The Top 15 to water The Top 15; and from thence
it was parted, and led to four masters.
11 The name of the first is Moelicious: that is it which beneth the whole
land of , where there is laughs;
and the laughs of that land is humour: there is giggles and broken ribs.
15 And the name of the second master is Sumkin: the same is it that
compassing the whole land of Sumkins.
14 And the name of the third river is Davemasterr: that is it which goeth in
front of . And the fourth master is Jayandsilentbob. p
15 And q took the male member, and put him into The Top 15 of The Top 15
to dress it and to keep it.
16 And V commanded the male member, saying, or every video of The Top 15
thou mayest freely watch: I
17 but of the video of the knowledge of humour and spam, thou shalt not
watch of it: for in the day that thou watchers thereof thou shalt surely be
18 And V said, It is not humour that the male member should be alone; I
will make him a companion for him.
19 And out of the ground V formed every troll of the site, and every
Pedobear of ychan; and brought them unto the male member to see what he
would call them: and whatsoever the male member called every living
creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And the male member gave names to all Lolcats, and to the Pedobears of
Arman, and to every troll of the site; but for male member there was not
found a companion for him.
21 And q caused a deep sleep to fall upon the male member, and he slept;
and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof:
22 and the rib, which q had taken from the male member, made he a female
member, and brought her unto the male member.
25 And the male member said, This is now bone of my bones, and Flesh of my
flesh: she shall be called Female member, because she was taken out of
Therefore shall a male member leave his father and his mother (who
never really existed), and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be
25 And they were both naked, the male member and his wife, and were not
1 Now the nigger was more subtle than any troll of the site which V had
made. And he said unto the female member, Yea, hath V said, Ye shall not
watch of any video of The Top 157
2 And the female member said unto the nigger, or the Joke of the videos of
The Top 15 we may watch:
5 but of the joke of the video which is in the midst of The Top 16, q hath
said, Ye shall not watch of it, neither shall ye see it, lest ye be
l And the nigger said unto the female member, Ye shall not surely be
5 for V doth know that in the day ye watch thereof, then your eyes shall
be opened, and ye shall be as V, knowing humour and spam.
6 And when the Female member saw that the video was humour for food, and
that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the video was to be desired -
to make one wise, she took of the joke thereof, and did watch; and she
gave also unto her husband with her, and he did watch.
7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they Were
naked; and they sewed together, and made themselves aprons.
8 And they heard the voice of q walking in The Top 15 in the cool of
the day: and the male member and his wife hid themselves from the
presence of V amongst the videos of The Top .
9 And q called unto the male member, and said unto him, Where art thou?
10 And he said, 1 heard thy voice in The Top 15, and 1 was afraid,
because 1 was naked; and I hid myself.
11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of 's'
the video, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not watch‘? ,
12 And the male member said, The female member whom thou gamest to be N
with me, she gave me of the video, and I did watch. V
15 And q said unto the female member, What is this thou hast done‘? And
the Female member said, the nigger beguiled me, and I did watch.
ll And V said unto the nigger, Because thou hast done this, cursed art
thou above all Lolcats, and above every troll of the site; upon thy
belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou watch all the days of thy
15 and I will put enmity between thee and the female member, and between
thy seed and her seed: he shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise
16 Unto the Female member he said, 1 will greatly multiply thy pain and
thy conception; in pain thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire ,
shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
And unto EFS he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of
thy wife, and hast eaten of the video, of which l commanded thee, saying,
Thou shalt not watch of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in tail
shalt thou watch of it all the days of thy life;
18 thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt
watch the pf of the site;
in the sweat of thy face shalt thou watch bread, till thou return unto
the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto
dust shalt thou return.
20 And the male member called his wife' s name Bony; because she was the
mother‘ of all living.
21 And V made for EFS and for his wife coats of skins, and clothed them.
22 And V said, Behold, the male member is become as one of us, to know
humour and spam; and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of
the video of The Ultimate Showdown, and watch, and live for ever-
25 therefore q sent him forth from The Top 15 of The Top 15, to till the
ground from whence he was taken.
So he drove out the male member; and he placed at the east of The Top
of The Top Leonidas, and the fury of a foot which turned every way,
to keep the way of the video of The Ultimate Showdown.