For those of you who don't know (and I was late to find out), a brony veteran, Silverk (Silverkat, Silverpony), committed suicide recently.
Now, it isn't my place to claim this has a tremendous emotional impact on me because, sadly, I didn't know her in real life. I feel very bad for anyone close to Kat. She was a good person. At least I thought she was a good person...

This is why I'm making this post.
Silver was a huge inspiration to me. I looked up to her. I respected her. She went through more shit in 7 years than anyone else I've ever gotten to know has gone through in their entire lives. She went through more emotional pain, lifestyle hardships, and downright bad luck than anyone I've ever known. And even though she had so much terrible stuff to deal with, she went on. She made things work. She persevered. She was dedicated to making her life into a livable one.

When I first joined the Pony Thread I, of course, didn't know anyone. Silverk was the first person I ever had an actual conversation with. LazyPurple and TWYSTDMMND were also some of the first, but those conversations weren't as deep as my conversations with Kat.

I've gone through some bad stuff in life, but whenever things seem bad, I would think about how much harder Kat has worked in her life. I think about all the pain she has went through. Then I would think, "If she can get through more than me, I can do alright too!"

But I don't think that now...
She's gone, and all my inspiration with her. She gave me a lot of hope for the future, so her loss hits me pretty hard. Maybe harder than you think it should, but I don't really care what you think.

It's just hard to think now that the most determined, strong, and kindest people I had ever had the pleasure of sharing conversation with has ended her own life. I don't blame her. No one should. It might not have been the right thing to do, but I respect her too much to soil my memory of her. We didn't go through what she went through.

Goodnight...