EPIC ONE LINERS. EDIT: HOLY !!! FRONT PAGE??! I leave this site for one day and i make front page? YEAH thank you all so much for popping my front page cherry..
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EPIC ONE LINERS

EDIT: HOLY ******* ********* !!! FRONT PAGE??! I leave this site for one day and i make front page? **** YEAH
thank you all so much for popping my front page cherry..
I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Just a collab of Awesome One liners that i found and collab'd
(I dont take any credit for the lines just putting them together)

Also sorry if retoast it was a quick decision so i didnt get time to check if its been done yet
(Hope you enjoy )

Tags: thug | aim
EPIC ONE LINERS
PTH
1) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not
putting a tomato in a fruit salad.
2) The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese.
3) Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching
them how to walk and talk. The next sixteen? Spent telling them
to sit down and shut up.
4) He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
S) My mother never realized the irony in calling me a -
bitch.
6) Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They
should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
T) I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted
paychecks.
8) Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the
answer.
9) If I agreed with you, we' d both be wrong.
10) To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from
many is research.
1 1) I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn' t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
12) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
13) We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than
the police.
14) A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
15) I should' known it wasn' t going to work out between my ex-
wife and me. After all, I' m a Libra and she' s a bitch.
16) How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?
IT) I didn' t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian.
18) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for
me at kick boxing.
19) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... so
I said "Implants?"
20) The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
21) Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
22) Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
23) Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
24) The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows
where all the bad girls live.
25) Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few
weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very
edge of the pool and throw them fish?
26) God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
27) I didn' t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
28) Fighting for peace is like ******* for virginity.
29) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are sexy.
30) Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won' t expect it
back.
31) Some people say "If you can' t beat them, join them". I say ''If
you can' t beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting
you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
32) Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
33) We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
34) A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such
a way that you will look forward to the trip.
35) Money can' t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier
to live with.
36) Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others...
whenever they go.
37) I discovered I scream the same way whether I' m about to be
devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed
touches my foot.
38) I don' t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn' t
die.
39) War does not determine who is right. " determines who is
left.
SUN Kw
THUMB EITHER WAY..
I DONT GIVE A F** K
OKAY MAYBE A LITTLE my
...

Comments(484):

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#1 - kilinismybiznis (10/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
I read the whole thing
User avatar #78 - TheNewRavager (10/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
I was laying in my bed, looking at the stars, when a thought occurred to me.

Where the hell is my ceiling?
User avatar #51 - tusslemonster (10/25/2011) [+] (2 replies)
**tusslemonster rolls 88**
#73 - dickorcock (10/25/2011) [+] (11 replies)
Confucius say, treat peopre rike you did as a chird. Cooties may not be rear, but herpies are.
#85 to #73 - fierydarkstorm (10/25/2011) [-]
Old Chinese Proverb say virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone..
#179 - gerdinn (10/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
HERE'S MY MOST EPIC 1 LINER!


____________________________
User avatar #354 - solidone (10/26/2011) [+] (11 replies)
**solidone rolls 55** Dubs and I spend 900 dollars. On scratch off tickets.
#33 - jibser (10/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
#367 - fabiovalentine (10/26/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Time to look funny on Facebook.
#24 - electricmodern (10/25/2011) [-]
you call those one liners?
User avatar #58 - fellfox (10/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
**fellfox rolled a random comment posted by Tusura at names explained ** :
Pixar is owned by Disney, ever since Steve Jobs sold it to them.
epic one liner?
User avatar #110 - iamabeast (10/25/2011) [-]
A tornado went through a graveyard
Hundreds where found dead
#319 - Jmckeon (10/26/2011) [-]
hmmm. a few of these sound familiar...
User avatar #312 - alexzhere (10/26/2011) [-]
my facebook status just changed way too many times in the last few minutes.
#505 - dlwnsgur (10/26/2011) [+] (3 replies)
**dlwnsgur rolled a random image** you guys up for a challenge? Than fap to this
#314 - anonymous (10/26/2011) [+] (8 replies)
Damn OP, you reposted this whole damn comp!
#125 - akn (10/25/2011) [-]
#144 - fatbaldhead (10/25/2011) [+] (7 replies)
**fatbaldhead rolled a random image** i'd **** this < for virginity.
#478 - gospickid (10/26/2011) [-]
thanks for the facebook status updates for the next 3 months
#524 - anonymous (10/26/2011) [+] (4 replies)
Had to thumb down. 15 percent were funny. The rest were inaccurate or offensive.
#528 to #525 - itzjoza (10/26/2011) [-]
I'll help you out
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