See this guy right here?
That is Samwise Gamgee.
He is the most badass Hobbit Bodyguard
a wizard can bestow.
Now heres 5 reasons why that is.
1. He traveled all across Middle Earth with all their
camping shit on his back, did you hear him
complaint? No, you didnt, all you hear was Freda
whining his bitch ass that he had to carry a 1. 2
milligram ring around his neck.
2. He has the red fiery hair of Chuck Norris everyone.
3. He battled a giant spider just to save Frodos'
cowardly ass from gettin' eaten
4. aam... did WALK into Mordor, no, he
stormed a Ort: Citadel just to get Freda back from
getting eaten (again).
5. This guy right here, CARRIED on his
back Freda up a volcano, barefooted,
but any Valcano, a volcano
named Mt. Motherfuckin Doom.
and yet ..... ..whe gets he fame from
LOTR? This guy -5 , at!