The Survival Game

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smiletheripper

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The Survival Game. .. Ok I first start off with my electric guitar I keep in my room, with my Kershaw knife as backup, and fight the zombies till I reach my basement door. I would cl

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Views: 960 Submitted: 09/24/2011

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#69 - MaliciousMike

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(09/24/2011) [-]

Ok I first start off with my electric guitar I keep in my room, with my Kershaw knife as backup, and fight the zombies till I reach my basement door. I would close the door behind me and run like hell to my reloading room, where I keep 20+ guns, ammo, and reloading equipment. Block the door to the room, and grab a shotgun and pistol, some ammo then clear the horde out of my ******* house. After cleaning those bitches up, I'm sure more of the undead will have heard the zombies yelling out in sight of me/ in death, So i quickly block the two doors into the house with some furniture, and then start setting up some defense, putting down any bitten family members, etc. after I hopefully keep the zombies out for a few hours and they start to lessen (I live in a fairly rural area, so not that many zombies around) I will head down to my nearby shop and grab the lumber I have down there and create proper defenses (covering windows, barricades that kind of ****) Also in my reloading room I have enough food and water for about a week, but I could possibly stretch it out to two. After resting and planning for a couple of days, I clear the outside of my house, and using the remaining lumber, create defenses for the shop, as I need to get a Misery Machine! Ill probably use my Ford Expedition, as it as plenty of storage, and gets a bet better gas mileage than the truck. Ill get some food supplies and take them down to the shop, seal up the shop with the Misery Machine to be inside as well as my various steel scraps and toughen up the exterior of the SUV, like bars on the windows, gun ports, maybe some spikes in front and ****. Hopefully this will only be day 4 or so, so once finishing the Misery Machine, Ill run to my various relatives places, and see if anyone is still alive/ not zombified, and grab any survivors that I find. After that it will mostly just be grab and run raid with the Misery Machine grabbing any supplies we would need such as ammo, food and water.

#70 to #69 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

#96 - JunkTea

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(09/25/2011) [-]

Tissue boxes and lotions.

#87 - TheBikingFrog

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(09/24/2011) [-]

I have a receipt for booze, and a little bowl of salsa...im ******

#79 - meggiepoo

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(09/24/2011) [-]

I throw my cat at them.

#81 to #79 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

death by furball? nice.

#42 - Trrave

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(09/24/2011) [-]

Firstly I collect knives and have been since my 16th birthday. After 6 years of knife collecting I have many. Knives suck with zombis though, so **** that ****. Instead I go for my two 23 inch monitors, and start whacking away with those. (that just sounds dirty doesn't it?) Seeing as they are thing and fragile that wouldn't work well either so **** that **** too. I could pull a Shawn of the Dead and start throwing my music collection at them, but that is all on my mp3 player so **** THAT **** too. I could try the sword I bought myself last year, but it isn't sharp, so more **** *******. I think my best bet to gain my self a few more moments of life would be to do this. A: Tip my fish tank over onto the zombies. B: Grab my CPU and start beating on zombie heads. C: Grab my all in one printer, copy, fax, scanner and beat on some more zombie heads. And if all else fails and there are more scary zombies I grab the floor lamp I illuminate my computing area with and start some zombie poky poky. Though after some reflection a better option may be to tip the fish tank onto the zombies, turn and open the window, then use the cable running most of the way up the outer wall of my home to get to the second floor. After that rush across the hall and get a gun. Guns are better anyhow.

#47 to #42 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

Nice planning.

#48 to #47 - Trrave

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(09/24/2011) [-]

Why thank you! =)

#41 - whitepowerftw

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(09/24/2011) [-]

run to the kitchen and get the biggest knife i can find. the only other thing i have is a few hockey sticks

#43 to #41 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

so your choice would be close and sharp, or bludgening from a short distance? not bad.

#44 to #43 - whitepowerftw

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(09/24/2011) [-]

pretty much. if i could find my dads car keys, i would drive to the local walmart, cuz they sell a lot of guns, and pretty much everything else.

#46 to #44 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

Walmart - All the **** you need for any occasion, all in one place.

Gotta love it.

#71 to #46 - whitepowerftw

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(09/24/2011) [-]

oh, also, i have this to use as a blunt weapon. or for swinging

#72 to #71 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

very nice. would be a shame to break it, but if its life or death then i would think positively... it would look much cooler with the blood splatter effect.

#73 to #72 - whitepowerftw

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(09/24/2011) [-]

definitely.

#22 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

I would reach for my laptop, can be almost certain that my life is more important than the internet now, then use it to knock back the first zombie i encounter, giving me enough time to reach for my next weapon, in this case that would be a 3 inch lock out knife and a wrench [[both of which are sitting by my TV]] using the wrench to destabalize zombies, i would knock them off balance, slash for the back of their spines, only taking on the ones i absolutely had to to makes it to my back door. Once there i would pick up my aluminium baseball bat, and leave the safety of my home to the open land just across the road, where i would head for the woodland. Asuming that i could get into the woodland a fair distance by outrunning the undead and caving in the skulls of those i couldn't outrun, i would then make my way through to the main road at the other end, inevitably, as with any zombie outbreak, there will be some vehicles scattered around, with a few zombies shambling about, ones that were bitten before getting to their cars, so only made it a short distance. I would proceed to clear the area, then take the most reliable car i could find, provided it had enough fuel to get me atleast 10-20 miles.

#30 to #22 - jacksipian

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(09/24/2011) [-]

id probly keep the laptop because you might need it to check the news and find out what parts of the state and which roads are the most heavily infected and blocked with traffic but the closest lethal weapon (thats not my hands or feet) is the trie pump which is 10 feet away and to get there id need to get rid of my laptop fast without breaking it then leap off the couch and grab it and get ready to swing all of which would increase my heart rate so theyd be pretty fast by then so it wouldnt do for long but if i had enough time to get the combat knife from the kitchen drawer before they got to me i could probly do some damage and maybe with a bit of luck and some awesome moves i learned in football i could porbly get to my dads room and proceed to get the gun and you know the rest then once i was safe and had the house secure id figure out where my parents were and how they were then look around the house and get any light but effective weapons to try and get away from the house and to somewhere safer but id still have to stick to roads mainly because my dads road bike doesnt do as good as my mountain bike which is at my moms house but i have no idea where id go from there because there arent very many easily securable and defensible buildings near my dads house but if it was at my moms house i could go somewhere safe but itd be harder to get out of the place since the hallways are narrow, my room is small and my only weapon would be a baseball bat thats a bit to big to swing normally

#51 to #30 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

do you not find that bikes are quite dangerous as a mode of zombie avoidance? i mean, its easy to get knocked off a bike, and when it happens it usually disorientates people.

#55 to #51 - jacksipian

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(09/24/2011) [-]

well youre half right i mean it is somewhat easy to get knocked off a bike but in order for a runner to catch someone on a bike youd have to go pretty slow and if you speed up a little bit you can easily lose them and if you do get knocked off the bike then unless you were taken off from the back you should realize its coming before it does so youd have time to brace for it and you could easily just jump off the bike to the opposite side of the zombie then do what you need to to put distance between you and it and you can hop and keep riding, if you get knocked over the handlebars then youre a dumbass for not paying attention to where youre going in a zombie apocalypse and its your own fault and if you get knocked off the side somehow then if you can think on your feet (or your back) and you have relatively good reflexes then you can probly manage to do some kind of a roll to transfer the inertia of you hitting the ground so that you dont get hurt as much and you can stand up fast and have time to get ready plus its silent (unless you have a rusty chain, in which case go loot some WD40 or something) and bikes are pretty durable so you shouldnt have to worry about it breaking down like a car or running out of gas but you should still be careful while on it so you dont break the chain or bend the tires or something

#56 to #55 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

i would most likely get eaten if i were to try it, but good luck to you, should the event ever arise. :)

#58 to #56 - jacksipian

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(09/24/2011) [-]

its not that hard if youve ever been knocked off a bike a few times, i mean you just kinda figure it out once its happened to you

#60 to #58 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

the only time i have been knocked off my bike was when a taxi drove into the side of it... not much i could learn from that... other than being hit by larger vehicles is painful...

#61 to #60 - jacksipian

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(09/24/2011) [-]

ya my freind got hospitalized because he got hit by a truck that drove onto the sidewalk and hit him on his bike... hes okay now, and ya thats not really much of a learning experience, no, youd just have to go really fast down a big hill and turn just a bit too sharply at the bottom so that your bike just flips over sideways and thats when you learn about how to lessen the fall. ya theres a painful story behind that but i learned my lesson

#85 to #61 - johnconnors

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(08/06/2014) [-]

Wow, that's pretty crazy man

#86 to #85 - jacksipian

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(08/06/2014) [-]

yeah it is, that's almost as crazy as replying to a 3 year old comment.

just kidding, it's cool

#90 - virgolovekitten

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(09/24/2011) [-]

get my hand made bat that my hubby made and swing away

#32 - boavenom **User deleted account**

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has deleted their comment [-]

#36 to #32 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

I am not sure that zombies would recognise how awesome the picture is, as they will be busy reacting to the scent of your flesh, and as they would not yet be ended they would quickly realise that the picture did not have the power of the man it represents.

#37 to #36 - boavenom **User deleted account**

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has deleted their comment [-]

#38 to #37 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

chuck norris faced the man, not a picture of the man.

to put it simply, there is a reason one of the commendments is "do not make false images of god"

#9 - thatguyfromhell

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(09/24/2011) [-]

my hunting rifle and my switchblade

#15 to #9 - smiletheripper [OP]

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(09/24/2011) [-]

got a scope? always best to check the outer borders from a distance once in a secure position :)

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