FML Comic Comp 2

I was fucking my 73 cats in the ass when I came in 12 of them and only one delivered babies that breathed fire and had the body of a cat except the head was me. They all breathed fire on my dick and my dick crusted up and fell off. I went to the hospital but the doctors didn't believe me so they raped me. FML

Me trying to read the panels with red text.

That vampire one made me wanna drill a hole in that dumbs cunts head and dig out what little brain she had left with a hot spoon
/pissed at twilight

damn twilight fan-girls -_-

can i have some teddy grahams?

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated.
FML

Can I have some teddy grahams?

The day of my high school graduation, I went shopping for a dress to wear for it. While we were out shopping, a little kid was staring at me a lot. Being a goth, I'm somewhat used to this but this kid was staring for a REALLY long time. My mom notices and asks the kid what's wrong, then the little kid burst into tears and thought I was a vampire and thought I was gonna eat him. Never felt so horrible in my life.

Okay, this one is digging far. Appreciate it;
I was about 5 years old, and my mom ran this home baby sitting thing. Me being a sexy little pimp I found a little 5 year old ginger bitch. We were playing hide and seek with my best friend, and she followed me into the shower. She sat in the tub with me with the curtain closed and I kissed her cheek, like it was no big deal. Next day she never really ever came back, and about a week later some 7 year old said I never had sex. This was about a week before I found out what it was, so I felt pretty stupid when I said in the middle of lunch with a teacher behind me, "SHUT THE FUCK UP I TOTALLY HAD SEX!!" And that is how I found out what sex was, after I had to write sentences about not saying bad words. Her name was Maddison.
Idk if thats an FML or God Why thing, but I put in some damn effort remembering.

walking to the bathroom in lowes. trying not to shit my pants i keep walking faster and faster. walking farts develope in mid store. make it to the bathroom pull down my pants and find a brown trail all the way down my leg and on my shoe. i apperently shit in lowes and it fell out of my pants in the isle. i smell like shit for the rest of the day. FML (i feel sorry for the guy sweeping that night)

Every time I try to talk to the girl I have a crush on, I puke right on her face. FML.

My joking?

While watching two kids, the youngest boy took off his shirt. His sister cried out "Zack! People can see your boobies!" I smiled at them and said "Boys don't have boobies, honey." The kids nodded understandingly. After a moment of silence, the boy turned to me and cried out "Then how much did you pay for your boobies?!"
FML

i was once the 11 year old boy she thought it was cute so gave me a kiss on the cheek at that time i thought thats wut sex was so i braged about having sex with my babysitter good times

Today when my son couldn't wake me up from my nap by saying my name he decided it was appropriate to pee on my face. Well i was awake after that. FML.

I was just messing around walmart and this kid comes up and he bites me, i go to his mum and ask her to control her son, she hit me and told me to let her son be a vampire The kid was 12. FML

I was shopping with my friend when two little kids started staring at us. We tried to ignore them, but they kept staring. After a few minutes, one of the kids said "Look. Those are emos!" and the other one said "No. I think they're just ugly" FML