Top 100 one-liners (41-60)
I didn' t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
The Shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
God must love stupid people. He made GO many.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The ‘voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Artificial intelligence is rid match for natural stupidity.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all
the bad girls live.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
Meyer get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for
president and so for Miss America?
The sole purpose of a child' s middle name, is so he can tell when
he' s really in trouble.
You do not need a parachute to Skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive twice.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
It' s not the fall that kills you; it' s the sudden stop at the end.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won' t expect it back.
Some people say “If you can' t beat them, join them". I say “If you
can' t beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you
to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.