RELEASE THE KRAKEENNNN

since we're sharing fart stories... we are aren't we? anyway, when I was in highschool i had something similar happen to me during an exam. ...and you know how quiet it is when people are test taking. It was ridiculous I was fighting so hard to keep it in I barely could take the test. So I'm strategizing on how to let this out and decide to clench and let it out slow. Didn't work, it exploded out of my ass with super sonic speed. I was expecting pandamonium, but nothing. Not a snicker, not a groan.... I somehow broke the space time continum and sent my fart into another dimmension. No one heard a thing. I will remember this always.

too lazy to login..pokeweed

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#297 to #245 - tharic (07/20/2011) [-]

one day i was at church and the priest was sharing a story that was taking forever. when suddenly i got the urge to fart and since all the speakers were and it was loud as hell i figured, "hell imma fart." I coldnt even hear it i just felt it was awful, and then the priest said, "Now a moment of silence" my fart continued for 20 seconds and it died out in a squeak... thn all i heard was the priest laughing his ass off.

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#305 to #297 - holycrapimacupcake (07/20/2011) [-]

I was sitting in math class when my teacher told me to go up and solve a problem on the board. Now I didn't know that this was gonna happen,but the loudest,rankest fart in the history of farts was let loose. They heard in in the room next door.

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#669 to #305 - tharic (07/20/2011) [-]

my church has a couple hundred people....

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#580 to #245 - pokeweed (07/20/2011) [-]

well hell, if I knew it was gonna be that popular I'd have logged in. Ok, I'm lying I still wouldn't of. Glad you all enjoyed the story. Completely true. Still can't understand why nobody seemed to hear it.

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#161 - eastsidecholo (07/19/2011) [+] (7 replies)

RELEASE THE KRA-AACHOOOOGARBHGRLR

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#192 to #161 - greenberlin (07/19/2011) [-]

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#193 to #192 - eastsidecholo (07/19/2011) [-]

THATS FUCKIN HILARIOUS...

ROFLWAFFLE

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#176 to #161 - WilliamWolven (07/19/2011) [-]

Why would you leave the showers like that?

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#188 to #161 - lbk **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

literally

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#190 to #188 - eastsidecholo (07/19/2011) [-]

YOU MADE ME LOL DAMMIT

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#238 to #161 - Squidge **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

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#688 to #161 - ronyx (07/20/2011) [-]

Meanwhile in real life.

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#223 - niggleb (07/19/2011) [-]

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#164 - roxasbaby (07/19/2011) [+] (3 replies)

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#183 to #164 - lostxprophit (07/19/2011) [-]

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#181 to #164 - ihazapenny (07/19/2011) [-]

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#219 to #164 - pandahumper (07/19/2011) [-]

[url deleted] 1d1.gif

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#83 - ningyoaijin (07/19/2011) [+] (26 replies)

There is an end. That sentence ended prematu

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#101 to #83 - ariroobn (07/19/2011) [-]

It's like the final episode of The Sopran

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#97 to #83 - xxromeoxx (07/19/2011) [-]

that's wei

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#115 to #97 - N. Korean citizen (07/19/2011) [-]

OMG wtf is that thi

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#125 to #115 - dudedudehi (07/19/2011) [-]

WHY THE HELL IS THIS HAP

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#128 to #125 - cameony **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

I guess someone said Candleja-

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#132 to #128 - freemanareso (07/19/2011) [-]

You're doing it wrong, like this:

Candlejack? I'm not scared of that pu

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#197 to #132 - awyeaaaa (07/19/2011) [-]

ikr. everyone knows that when you say candlejack, you dont have enough time to put th

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#191 to #132 - N. Korean citizen (07/19/2011) [-]

Yeah,just like Slenderman. He doesn't scar-

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#133 to #132 - cameony **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

The sentences were already being cut off, so doing it that way would be wrong in the context of my reply.

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#134 to #133 - freemanareso (07/19/2011) [-]

But that's not how the meme goes...

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#135 to #134 - cameony **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

It does when he isn't the first thing in the comments.

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#138 to #135 - freemanareso (07/19/2011) [-]

Memes are restricted to the use it was created for, you don't just create up a random ass use of it. that's like me saying "Me gusta" when I hate something.

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#139 to #138 - cameony **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

*sigh*

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#212 to #128 - irawrforpickles **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

wtf am i reading?

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#222 to #212 - cameony **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

That would be a newspaper, good sir.

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#225 to #222 - irawrforpickles **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

Thank you. I've been trying to figure that out for days!

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#226 to #225 - cameony **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

Oh, you're quite welcome!

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#173 to #83 - milkmyoneudder (07/19/2011) [-]

I guess I can finally say that I have a small PENIS. No interruption? What the FU

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#144 to #83 - INaTtYI (07/19/2011) [-]

The fuck has this post done to m

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#36 - Douchebagius (07/19/2011) [+] (2 replies)

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#38 to #36 - Mecuniv (07/19/2011) [-]

Omg, ew, lol. What movie is that? XD

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#39 to #38 - Douchebagius (07/19/2011) [-]

Hallpass

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#283 - AlfredNeuman (07/20/2011) [+] (2 replies)

once i felt a fart coming on in class, and my 6th sense told me it was going to be huge. However, i had a sneeze coming on too. I clenched my ass as hard as i could so i could hopefully sneeze without opening the flood gates. Didn't work. I sneezed a pretty loud sneeze, but it was drowned out by the sheer power and magnitude of my fart. It honestly sounded like a Harley starting up.

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#292 to #283 - dirtypoptart (07/20/2011) [-]

this is what your story reminded me of.

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#289 to #283 - stopsdropsand (07/20/2011) [-]

You sir just made my night. More than the comic did.

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#137 - BillayMays (07/19/2011) [+] (2 replies)

reIease the kraken

and it seems the kraken just reIeased its ink

>=D

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#148 to #137 - HerpADerpARoo (07/19/2011) [-]

0

#151 to #148 - BillayMays has deleted their comment. [-]

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#261 - dafewhere (07/19/2011) [-]

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#514 - remiall (07/20/2011) [+] (5 replies)

**remiall rolls 05,005**

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#527 to #514 - remiall (07/20/2011) [-]

I'm 05. Double 005.

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#557 to #527 - holycap (07/20/2011) [-]

so, you are 05 005 005 ¿¿??

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#521 to #514 - trolljunkusa (07/20/2011) [-]

yo dawg we hear you like dubs so we put dubs inside your dubs!

0

#529 to #521 - dingdongpingpong has deleted their comment. [-]

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#681 to #514 - cotimbaland **User deleted account** (07/20/2011) [-]

dubs and trips

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#61 - riond **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [+] (1 reply)

The irony is that I was farting pretty loudly while reading this.

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#78 to #61 - Serjical (07/19/2011) [-]

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#40 - datniqqa **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [+] (3 replies)

release the kraken!!

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#42 to #40 - BadRobot (07/19/2011) [-]

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#41 to #40 - amoranda (07/19/2011) [-]

God damn it Japan.

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#95 to #40 - ultrarobbie (07/19/2011) [-]

This is how Japanese women show their anger.

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#46 - magicpicturebox **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [+] (4 replies)

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#49 to #46 - N. Korean citizen (07/19/2011) [-]

What show is that... it looks ridiculous

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#50 to #49 - magicpicturebox **User deleted account** (07/19/2011) [-]

Angel Beats! its pretty insane but it's certantly awesome

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#51 to #50 - hipante (07/19/2011) [-]

Thanks for replying, just realized I still have an account :D

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#56 to #46 - bottlesofnyan (07/19/2011) [-]

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#545 - macssuckwang (07/20/2011) [-]

**macssuckwang rolls 77** those dubs stop flatulence

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#539 - sabotage (07/20/2011) [+] (3 replies)

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go... Oh shit

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#564 to #539 - N. Korean citizen (07/20/2011) [-]

what the?

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#599 to #539 - Zeratool **User deleted account** (07/20/2011) [-]

what is spewing out of her pooper? D:

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#594 to #539 - Gravityfool (07/20/2011) [-]

I need this. Now pl0x, sssssooooouuuuurrrrrccccceeeee

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RELEASE THE KRAKEENNNN

OC as #1 fuck yeah..
thanks for numero uno

Comments(647):

RELEASE THE KRAKEENNNN

OC as #1 fuck yeah.. thanks for numero uno

Comments(647):

OC as #1 fuck yeah..
thanks for numero uno