help?

Ok Steve. Can I call you Steve? Ok so, your sitting at home hittin up that shit like no tommorow. Im talking fucking Pinapple Express, Maui Waui, etc. Then your dog walks in and is like "Man, I can see you like this anymore on drugs." But you like "HOLY SHIT MY DOG CAN FUCKING TALK!" And this is from all of the narcodics you have been on for three weeks. And you realize that since your dog can talk it must be the spawn of satan. So you grab the closest thing to you. Latex. You start fucking wrapping him in condoms. Condom after condom after condom. You eventually have the demon encased in the condoms like a fucking present. He starts breakiing out in a rash. You like "Holy shit hes going sayian." He explodes in anger. After a good fight you start slow him down. Eventually to the point where he can't move. Then you take him to the vet. And bam, alibi solved. Or you could just say he got into your stash. Derp

What's there to explain? Just tell the doctor your dog is allergic to latex.

Moved to next pic, realize i forgot to thumb.
Goes back to thumb up.

just say "Hey doc, my dog is allergic to latex."

You tell the vet that you were giving the dog a bath and you were applying some flea & tick shampoo, but were wearing latex gloves to avoid getting it on your hands because you're pregnant.

+50 points if you're a guy and say this.

Tell him you were fucking your dog

**alanthewhite rolls 533,558,535**

Very simple. He was too cute to resist

Reminds me of a Joke:

I'm sitting alone in the medical room...thinking to myself remembering what my friend had said..."Don't worry Derp it's natural for doctors to F*ck a couple of their patients!" I think that and smile...then think to myself...yeah...but most people aren't veterinarians...

Alright Dan, is your name Dan? Whatever it is now. You can't just tell the vet your dogs allergic to latex because they would think you were having sex with him, but you can't neglect to tell them because then you're putting your dog in danger. So here's what you do, you tell the vet your dog had dingle berries that needed cleaning. Now being the civilized man that you are, you would want some sort of protective layer between your hands and the theoretical dingle berry. So, and here's the kicker, you tell him you wore a pair of latex gloves, and later noticed a rash around his b-hole. He'll have to believe it because it's so perfect.

or you could tell him he ate your condoms

Simply explain that as a responsible dog owner, you couldn't bare the thought of your dog getting canine AIDS so you gave your dog some condoms. Unfortunately after a night out with the bitches your dog came home complaining about a rash and swelling on his dick. Weather it's true or not explain that you tried to use lambskin condoms as an alternative, but your dog won't stop trying to eat his own dick.

Just buy a new chewing ball that's not made of latex for him, he'll be fine.

(realisation)