l. Bring a pillow. asleep (or pretend to) untie the last 15 minutes
wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work
Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I' got the
3. If it is a math/ science exam, answer in essa form If it is long
answer/ essay form, answer with numbers and sym oas. Be creative. use the
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor' s
S. Taak the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate
your answers with ourself out boud. If asked to stop, out, "I' m
soor sure you can hear me thinking." Then start tacking about what a
jerk the instructor is,
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. wack in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, ioudby say
to the instructor, "I don' t understand an of this. I' been to every
lecture semester what' s the ? And who the are you?
where' s the regular guy?
Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Pkay with the volume at max
9. the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to
refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this
question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
ll. Run into the exam room looking about frantically, Breathe a sigh of
relief. Go to the instructor, say "They' found me, I have to leave the
country" and run off.
Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip u the papers into
very pieces, throw them into the air and / out "Merry
Christmas." If you' re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam
Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes
Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers
Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a tower on your head,
and nothing else,
Come down with a bad case of Tured' s Syndrome during the exam. Be as
vulgar as possible,
Do the entire exam in another language, If you don' t know one, make
one up! For math/ science exams, try using Roman numerals.
Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/ he' s not looking, Bcame
it on t e person nearest to you.
As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
wack into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping
your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them
stay, be persuasive. the instructor to expect a percentage of the
profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect your things, move to another
seat, continue with the exam.
Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you wack out,
start commenting on how easy it was
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/ faise. If it is
a multiple choice exam, out interesting things (. BABE. etc..).
23. Bring a baack marker. Return the exam with questions and answers
completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently,
scream out "Screw this!" and wack out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor
that whether or not everyone' s done, they are leaving after one hour to
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during
the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell
him/ her in a very derogatory tone, "the ight bubb that goes on above my
head when I get an idea is coked up to a clapper, DUH!"
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a baack cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a
white mask and start yelling "I' m here, the phantom of the opera" untie
they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no caue about, where you know the
class is very wall, and the instructor wouid recognize if you
belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture, Fight for your right
to ta e the exam.
Upon receiving the exam, iook it over, whice laughing loudly, say "you
don' t really expect me to waste my time on this driver? Days of our Lives
32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the
instructor' s requests for you to stop. when they finaaly get you to leave
one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River
34. Start a brawb in the middie of the exam.
If the exam is math/ science related, make up the longest proofs you
courd possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations.
If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own iife story.
36. Come in wearing a knight' s outfit, complete with sword and shield,
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the
exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation,
38. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious like
history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you' re not just fai Ing,
you' re getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the
comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
39. when you wack in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40. After you get the exam, the instructor over, point to any
question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/ her.
41. tyne word: Wrestlemania,
42. Bring balloons, beow them up, start throwing them around like they do
before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave,
44. Pkay frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
Bring some large, cumbersome, ugay idol, Put it right next to you,
Pray to it often. Consider a sacrifice,
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent
to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,
anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, pkay various tunes. If you are
asked to sto , say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student
Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on
musical instruments during finals, Don' t forget to use the phrase
Todd you so".
Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons why Professor xxix