Analogies. . The following are actual winning analogies in the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay" contest The little boat gently drifted acro
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Analogies

The following are actual winning analogies in the "worst
analogies ever written in a high school essay" contest
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the
way a bowling ball wouldn' t.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty
Bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a
sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots
in the center.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
T) flw. / ch@ urgg but gets
He was as tall as a threepence tree.
Long separated by cruel fate, the lovers raced
across the grassy field toward each other like two freight
trains, one having left Cleveland at 6: traveling at 55
mph, the other from Topeka at 4: at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after
the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.
...
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Views: 36369
Favorited: 171
Submitted: 02/15/2010
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Comments(115):

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+31
#87 - JLJ **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#89 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
who else looked up a picture of Dr Pepper to see if there was really no period?
User avatar #16 - flashfire (02/16/2010) [-]
that was as funny as a good joke
#80 - EmperorColo **User deleted account** (02/16/2010) [+] (3 replies)
This post made me laugh like another FJ member who also laughed.
#94 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
that last one made tears come out of my eyes, like another person who looked it the last one and had tears come out of their eyes.
User avatar #7 - TheExile (02/16/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Is it sad that after I read the Dr. Pepper one, I looked down at my Dr. Pepper can?
User avatar #31 - zchrls (02/16/2010) [+] (1 reply)
I laughed as hard as a guy that had just seen something that was funny!
User avatar #35 to #31 - Daedalusy (02/16/2010) [-]
I laughed in exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't!
#61 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
This pic is as funny as a very funny pic
#73 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [+] (2 replies)
This picture made me laugh as hard as a group of teenagers watching a fat guy fall down stairs.
User avatar #5 - IGNOREME (02/16/2010) [+] (4 replies)
can you imagine a giant hefty bag filled with vegetable soup hitting the pavement after a 12 story drop? splat! ******* vegetable soup eveywhere!! awesome! I'm gonna actually do this sometime and try to record the results, just you watch, I now have a mission.
User avatar #4 - dakunism (02/15/2010) [+] (2 replies)
the first one is almost like the one in Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy!!! "It hung in the air just the way rocks dont".
#56 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [+] (2 replies)
This picture was funny like a vast sweeping wind through a mountain prairie that told knock knock jokes.
User avatar #85 - FuzzyBelly (02/16/2010) [+] (2 replies)
dude i got this as an email in 1999. still funny
#90 to #85 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
ur old.
#97 - dgoodnightbutthole **User deleted account** (02/16/2010) [-]
I dunno man, vegetable soup hits the ground pretty hard
#78 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
pretty sure the hefty bag one got the point across quite well and is therefore a great analogy
#27 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
last one sounds like dmitri martin
#93 - Youngandfapping **User deleted account** (02/16/2010) [+] (1 reply)
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
User avatar #95 to #93 - FRANCHEK (02/16/2010) [-]
is ur fb fap fappington?
User avatar #62 - BurntBiscuits (02/16/2010) [-]
Hey, the top one was alright as it was a reference to Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy quote: 'They hung in the air in exactly the same way bricks don't'.

But the others made me lol :P
#44 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
Last one was most definitely the best.
#71 - xxxsonic fanxxx (02/16/2010) [-]
I want to use these on the essay that I am avoiding by browsing with FJ.
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