Epic Joke Comp 2. EPIC JOKES! +30 FOR MOAR!. Epic Joke Comp 2 Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon. " ." said the first bloke, "As soon as I

Epic Joke Comp 2


Epic Joke Comp 2
Two blokes were out walking home from work
one afternoon. " ***** ." said the first bloke, "As
soon as I get home, Pm gonna rip the wife' s
knickers om'' "What' s the rush?” his mate
asked. "The bloody elastic in the legs is killing
me." the bloke replied.
A salesman knocks on the door of a home and
it' s answered by a 12 year old boy with a cigar
in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in
the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse
me son but is your mother or father home?” To
which the boy replies, "Does it ******* look like
A couple of Amish women were picking
potatoes in a field one autumn day. The first
woman had two potatoes in her hands. She
looked at the other woman and said, "These
potatoes remind me of my husband’ s testicles."
The other woman said "Are his testicles that
big???” The first woman replied, " No, they' re
that filthy."
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a
visit to her obstetrician' s office. After the exam,
she shyly said "My husband wants me to ask
you..." The doctor interrupts “I know... I know...”
placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “I
get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late
in the pregnancy." "No, that' s not it..." the
woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can
still mow the lawn."
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an
attractive woman waving at him. He walks over
to her and she greets him warmly. He' s rather
taken aback because he can' t figure out where
he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know
me?" To which she replies, “I think youve the
father of one of my kids.” His mind races back
to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to
his wife and says, "Are you the stripper from
the bachelor party that I had sex with on the
pool table, with all my buddies watching, while
your partner whipped my ass with wet celery?”
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No,
Pm your son' s teacher."
A man is sitting alone, pounding back drinks at
the local bar. Along comes a beautiful woman
that sits down beside him. He turns to her and
says "Hey, how bout it? You and me, gettin' it
on. Pve got a couple dollars and it looks like
you could use a little money." She stands up
and says, "What makes you think I charge by
the inch?”
Pve got some good news and some bad news"
the doctor says. "What' s the bad news?” asks
the patient. "The bad news is that unfortunately
you’ only got 3 months to live." The patient is
taken back, "What' s the good news then
Doctor?” The doctor points over to the
secretary at the front desk, “You see that
blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs
that go all the way up to heaven."", the patient
shakes his head and the doctor replies, "Pm
******* her."
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Views: 2932
Favorited: 12
Submitted: 04/30/2011
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#4 - Craigulon (04/30/2011) [+] (2 replies)
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User avatar #9 - Drpealz (04/30/2011) [+] (1 reply)
i didn't get the second one.
User avatar #2 - purpleflyingdino (04/30/2011) [-]
i loled
User avatar #1 - brittkit (04/30/2011) [-]
laughed at every joke
User avatar #7 - ceris (04/30/2011) [-]
The pregnant woman having to mow the lawn was the best :3
#5 - anonymous (04/30/2011) [-]
I didn't LoL at all...
#3 - fungusamongus (04/30/2011) [+] (1 reply)
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User avatar #6 to #3 - ipwnallnubz ONLINE (04/30/2011) [-]
Your loss, Adam.

(In case anyone didn't know, that is Adam with a mask on to look like Jamie. Hopefully that'll stop most of the red thumbs.)
#8 - multicom (04/30/2011) [-]
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